After many years of homelessness, hopelessness, self hatred and mental illness I started using alcohol and drugs at the age of 17 while attending a christian academy. I hated myself, I hated looking in the mirror, I 'd been wombed from all that life had thrown at me starting at the age of 5 when my world turned up side down. I can remember that first hit like it was yesterday. Seemed like all the pain, all the sadness went away, all of the wombs closed, all the hurt went away for just a moment. Seemed like I had never known peace, joy, happiness, quietness, but when I used I would escape into everything that was missing in my life-peace, joy, happiness, quietness. But when the drugs were gone every negative thought and feeling I ever had came storming back along with what seems like a million negative friends. So the more I used the more I needed, and the more I needed the more I used. As a result there came 2 suicide attempts, 3 times in jail, more homelessness and hopelessness. After living this way for years I found my way to recovery. I've been recovered since 1995, I'm a Certified Peer Specialist/Certified Recovery Educator/Motivational Speaker and Author of the book "Beautiful Scars" My journey to Wholeness and Healing, Available on Amazon and Createspace.com. This book has been endorsed by 3 leading Mental Health Professionals, appeared on TBN, Atlanta Live and several local TV and Radio stations. My mess has truly been turned into a Message. I travel the country letting people know that there is a way out, and NO it's not death. May God continue to bless and keep you all. Your Friend in RECOVERY.