I was 12 years old when I began using drugs and continued to use until the age of 34. There were periods of sobriety but they never lasted long. I did things that I am still to this day haunted by. There were times when I left my children and my husband for days, weeks, and at the end months. In 2007 I was arrested for misdemeanor drug possession and put on probation. For awhile, I was okay, staying sober and trying desperately to maintain a normal life and be the mother my children needed me to be. But unfortunately that wasn't enough. I began using again despite the fact that I had to take weekly drug tests. For awhile, I managed to time it so I could pass the tests, until I began using methamphetamine. The next thing I knew, I was injecting it up to 12 times a day sometimes more. I abandoned my family and slowly slipped into a private hell. Into a hole so deep that I was simply waiting to be buried in. I began forging checks, printing them and passing them to banks and any other place that would cash them to support my habit. I saw no way out and my only wish was to die to escape the hell I had created for myself. I vividly remember the last time I stuck a needle in my arm. As I was doing it, I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my life for God to just take me. I couldn't take it anymore. I desperately hoped that He would answer my prayer even though He had no reason to, for I had turned my back on Him long ago. Well He did answer my prayer, just not in the way I had expected. Due to my crimes of forgery, the police had issued a warrant for my arrest and sure enough, not 2 hours later, I was in the back of a police car. I spent 9 months in prison, and during that time God was with me. My relationship with Him grew during that time and when I was released from prison, I was a completely different person. He took that desire for drugs from me. I firmly believe that. I was arrested on January 5, 2009 and since then I have not the desire for drugs or alcohol. I now have become the mother my children need, and the wife I was meant to be. I still struggle sometimes with the memories of the things I did to my family even though they have forgiven me, I still have yet to forgive myself, but I'm working on it. Even when things seem hopeless, they are not. I pray that everyone struggling with addiction finds their way home.