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Living Strong

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Living Strong

My name is Jessica, and I am happy to say I am a recovering addict. ?I have been clean for almost 17 months. ?I grew up in a loving broken family, and had a lot of emotional issues growing up. ?When I was a senoir in high school, I started drinking and smoking pot, just trying to fit in, well it kinda started there. ?I always said I would never go to harder drugs cause I was better then that. ?Well when I was 25 I had 2 daughters by two different guys and was living with one of them. ?He was abusive but because of my emotional issues, I thought I deserved it, cause even though I looked for help no one would. ?My Boyfriend at the time got me to smoke Crack with him one night. ?Now I wouldn't have done it if I knew what it truely was, but he had laced a joint with it and from there I was all in. ?I did that for while and then finally I was able to get a place to live cause my family finally saw how bad I was being treated. ?I got clean for 3 months and then he got me using again. ?And I had to hide everything and make my visits with him a complete secret, well it lasted for a few months and then I started going on my own to find it and no longer cared to be around him because he wanted to clean up. ?I had so many things happen and got clean yet again. ?I was doing great, had 2 jobs and still able to be a mom. ?Then I left my jobs cause I couldn't keep traveling to work since I had moved yet again. ?I started a new job where I met the best yet worse guy ever in my life. ?I was up front and honest about my issues and then he told me he liked to do stuff once in a while, well I figured I could do that too, god was I wrong.

Then after a few months he shot coke in front of me and I thought I was gonna be sick watching him do it that way, but I was also curious. ?So of course I try it too, and wow I was hooked. ? Then while we were high he told me that he was also a herion addict, and I said in no way I would do it. ?And I held strong for a while. ?Then one day I decided I would try it and then it fucked up the next 4 years of my life. ?I lost everything in my life due to drugs, I lost my Children. ?My two beautiful precious girls now live with my father and step mother and even though I am in their life I am a telephone mom, and it hurts. ?I should of learned when we were shot at and robbed that I should stop but nope, I was addicted. ?I should of listened to my mom, but instead I stole money from her to score drugs after I begged to have her come get me from rehab cause, "I wasn't like these people".

I spent so much time in a smoke filled room of his, I couldn't see straight. ?I finally reached out to the one person I knew wouldn't ignore me. ?My longest and bestest friend ever. ?At the time he was serving in Iraq when I emailed him the first time, and he was also married too. ?I told him that I finally realized that I really needed him. I told him that I knew that I truely loved him, because I knew I hurt him by what I was doing and I couldn't get out unless I could get out of the state. ?It took about 8 months of emailing back and forth, but finally I left the addict and got on a plane to be with the one person who could truely help me. ?Now I did not stop using until I left on the plane and I had to detox off of coke and herion by myself for 4 weeks. ?4 weeks of extreme hell and pain. ?But now since I know that pain I do not ever want to go through it again. ?I am now getting married and looking forward to my future. ?There is hope for every addict. ?It is never too late to find your worth. ?


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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Comments

1. Julie
Congrats on your recovery, Jessica!