Living Strong
Living Strong
Then after a few months he shot coke in front of me and I thought I was gonna be sick watching him do it that way, but I was also curious. ?So of course I try it too, and wow I was hooked. ? Then while we were high he told me that he was also a herion addict, and I said in no way I would do it. ?And I held strong for a while. ?Then one day I decided I would try it and then it fucked up the next 4 years of my life. ?I lost everything in my life due to drugs, I lost my Children. ?My two beautiful precious girls now live with my father and step mother and even though I am in their life I am a telephone mom, and it hurts. ?I should of learned when we were shot at and robbed that I should stop but nope, I was addicted. ?I should of listened to my mom, but instead I stole money from her to score drugs after I begged to have her come get me from rehab cause, "I wasn't like these people".
I spent so much time in a smoke filled room of his, I couldn't see straight. ?I finally reached out to the one person I knew wouldn't ignore me. ?My longest and bestest friend ever. ?At the time he was serving in Iraq when I emailed him the first time, and he was also married too. ?I told him that I finally realized that I really needed him. I told him that I knew that I truely loved him, because I knew I hurt him by what I was doing and I couldn't get out unless I could get out of the state. ?It took about 8 months of emailing back and forth, but finally I left the addict and got on a plane to be with the one person who could truely help me. ?Now I did not stop using until I left on the plane and I had to detox off of coke and herion by myself for 4 weeks. ?4 weeks of extreme hell and pain. ?But now since I know that pain I do not ever want to go through it again. ?I am now getting married and looking forward to my future. ?There is hope for every addict. ?It is never too late to find your worth. ?
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