I was born and raised in Baltimore Maryland. What many people call the" Devil's Playground". When i was 10 i started smoking cigarettes. When I was 11 or 12 I tried alcohol and marijuana for the first time. At that time I thought it was the "COOL" thing to do because everyone else was doing it. I continued with using just?those drugs up until i graduated high school which i barely graduated because of going to school high every day. After I graduated I was only 17. I started dating my sons father who was a well known drug dealer. While with him he introduced me to Acid, Ecstasy, prescription pills like percocets, oxycotin, xanax n so on. I Immediately became hooked on the downers/opiates. When I was 19 I got pregnant with my son. Now my family didn't know I was using any type of drugs and i was scared to tell them, or my Dr. that I was addicted. Why didn't the?Dr. test me for drugs when i first went to my OB-GYN appt. I still wonder that but i stopped all the drugs cold turkey and from the withdraws my hormone levels weren't rising like they were suppose to when your pregnant and the?Dr. told me?I had a 75% chance of having a miscarriage due to that. My pride got in the way is how i see it now. After about 2 weeks everything leveled out and the rest of my pregnancy went great and my son was a healthy baby. Thank the good Lord. Now here is where my life got even worse. When my son was 1 1/2 i started using oxycotin again and it started?to be?too expensive?for me. I was 21 then. So i ran into a friend and they told me what i was paying for the pills i could get double in herion so i did that and instantaneously i was hooked n i knew i could afford it. little did i know i was ruining my life. i began stealing from my family n my parents and a friend of my moms saw me using it in a ally n went n told my mom. when i got home? she had my son. thats 1 thing i can say i never took my son 2 go get drugs or have him around when i was using them n, i always made sure he had what he needed 4 the whole month. not many mothers can say they did that but i did. when my mother told my father they told me go get help or get out. so i went to a out patient detox m got clean 4 around 2 weeks?n started using again so again another detox. and that cycle kept going until i was in every rehab n detox in Baltimore. After all that I was scared the system would take my son so i signed temporary custody of my son over to my parents n then my dad told me he wasn't gonna watch me slowly kill myself so i left. 2 get money i ended up robbing cars with my using friends, going into houses that were being remodeled m stealing the expensive sinks, tubs that had hot tubs in them n whatever else we could get outta them n sell them to the dealers for drugs. Doing that wasn't enough 2 support my habit being that we had 2 split all the money n drugs we got so i started prosituting just 2 support my herion n now cocaine habit. This went on for a few yrs. In Nov 2005 a old friend came to me. He told me he moved away from Baltimore n got clean. He then asked me a question that would change my life. he asked if i really wanted to get clean n move to Western Maryland with him. We been friends since childhood. I told him yes. He had 2 go home n told me he would b back 2 get me in 2 weeks. Truthfully i didn't think he was gonna come but 2 weeks later he came back with a bus ticket 4 me. We went 2 my parents n told them n i gave my son a kiss n hug. On Nov 20th 05, i got on that bus n moved with him with just the clothes on my back n he assured me all would be alright. and it was. I went into the hospital here where they properly detoxed me and helped me with my mental health issues. I started getting home sick a few months later n left n went back to Baltimore and began 2 use again. The 2nd day in Baltimore I ended up overdosing n the people who were with me at that time did take me to the hospital, sat me into a wheelchair rolled me very hard into the hospital n yelled to the security guards "she overdosed" n got back into the car n left. this is what the security ladies told me when i finally came to. My mom came up?n i told her to call my friend n ask him if he would let me come back up n he did so a few days later i got back on the bus n came back to Western Maryland. Now this time i stayed but i can't say i stayed clean the whole time since i came back up here in 2006. I had a few relapses n he did too. In 2007 i got on a Methadone Program which helped me get off the herion. Now some people look at methadone as a drug still but if taken as prescribed it does help. Like a?Dr. told me. addicts need methadone like heart patients need heart medicine. Now its 2013 n me n my new fiance have been clean for over 6 yrs n were off the methadone and all drugs. My family has forgiven me for all I've put them through. I still see a counselor cause i still have problems getting over all i did when i was using. My fiance tells me all the time that something told him to come to me n help me. And he always tells me "not only did i help save u but u helped save me at the same time" i never thought i would be where i am right now.?I got my own place, my son with me who is now 11 n yes, a very clean bill of health. After getting clean i got tested for over 2 yrs straight for all Diseases n every test came back negative. So i know now that GOD was really on my side. Not many people can say they have been where i have been, did what i did and come out on the other side clean n sober without any Diseases or std's or anything that u can possibly catch with the life i was living.?I was sleeping in abandoned houses or shacks next to train tracks. If only i knew what i was doing when i was 11. If only i knew that what i thought was "cool" would lead me down a long road of Destruction. IF ONLY........ I missed a lot of time with my son that i can never get back. I am glad that he was to young to remember anything i did but i still get scared cause what i didn't know back then is that addiction is Hereditary. And a lot of my family are alcoholics and some r drug addicts. Sometimes i think if i would of never got with my sons father i would of never of touched any of them drugs, but i can't put the blame on no one but me. He may of introduced me to them but he didn't force me to do them. I know my experience with addiction has made me a more stronger, wiser, n better person. I've learned a lot throughout them years. And i know i can use my experience and educate my son on addiction and educate others also.?I always tell people who say i will never use drugs and i will never put a needle in me or i will never get that bad and i tell them to "NEVER SAY NEVER" because I was once one of them people who said the same exact lines n i never thought i would do all the things i did, but i did them n i can't change that. All i can do is use my experience n learn from it n help others who i see r going down the same path i was once on. I've been clean for about 6yrs now. Me and my fiance. I look at him as my guardian angel because if it weren't for him asking me if i wanted to get clean i would most likely be in prison, have a deadly n incureable disease or i would be dead. So I thank GOD everyday for bringing him into my life. If i had to tell the young kids one thing, its? don't do anything cause u see others doing it ,or if ?u think its the cool thing to do cause in the end them people u call your friends won't be there for u. Be smart and just stay away from them people because they aren't your real friends if they are trying to get u to do drugs or drink alcohol, even if they stop talking to u because u turned it down, their doing u a favor because 10yrs from now u will be doing good for yourself while u see them still using and getting high with no life. So please use my story as a example that what u see your friends doing ain't cool and will end up destroying your life. May GOD be with everyone still struggling with their addiction. Hope all has a blessed day