I started using alcohol and marijuana regularly in high school. My addiction then progressed to mushrooms, acid and cocaine. I got in trouble at home, school and eventually ran into legal troubles. Numerous times. I couldn't see that I had a problem, though everyone close to me could. I eventually started smoking crack in the early 2000's. I went to rehab for the first time in 2004 and was introduced to Narcotics Anonymous. I didn't stay clean and ended up in detox in January 2005 six months later. I still didn't stay clean and checked myself into an out-patient program in January of 2006. Again, I didn't stay clean and ended up getting arrested in January 2007 and went to jail for the first and only time in my life. This landed me in a drug court program. I stayed clean for the 13 months I was in this program, only to relapse a week after I graduated from it on February 29, 2008. A week later I was using again. A year later I entered rehab again. I went to the same facility as I did in 2004. I was there for only 2 weeks this time, instead of 3 and was released on March 13 of 2009. I stayed clean for 4 and a half months before relapsing AGAIN!!! But I went back to a meeting a week and a half later and this changed my life. I realized I didn't have to use until I was in trouble or faced an ultimatum from my family and friends. I relapsed one more time though. I used on Halloween night of 2009 and continued to use every weekend for 5 weeks.

Finally, I hit a bottom that I had never before experienced. I felt like I might be better off if I just died and I thought my family would be better off too. I decided to give NA one more try even though I thought it just wasn't going to work for me. I'm glad I gave the program one more chance. I just celebrated three years clean on December 5, 2012. My message is don't ever give up on yourself or recovery. If one addict can find recovery and stay clean any addict can do it. It doesn't matter how bad you think you are, how out of control your addiction is or how much of a mess your life is. Narcotics Anonymous and the 12 steps of Recovery SAVED MY LIFE!!! It can SAVE YOURS TOO!!! Believe in yourself, believe in the program and believe in a Higher Power of your own understanding. Find the willingness to be honest with yourself first and then learn how to be honest with others. Any addict seeking recovery need never die. My gratitude speaks when I share and when I care with others, the NA way.