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The steps that lead to my 12 step program

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The steps that lead to my 12 step program

Hello everyone my name is?Beth I am a recovering addict and I would like the opportunity to tell my story in hopes of getting thru to at least ONE person who reads this.

Man where do I begin? Let me first start off by saying I am a mother of two boys aged 16 and 12 that I gave birth to at a very young age. You see, at the age of 16 I thought I knew it all... I had life figured out (so I thought) but in all actuality I didnt know nothing except how to have sex with men so I could feel loved, wanted, and needed and to?smoke pot so it would?numb the feelings I?was?having to deal with due to being sexually, physically, and?emotionaly abused as a child.

By age 21?I had been pregnant 4 times but only gave birth to two of the children. And by age 23 I had become a full blowin alcoholic and drug addict doing anything I could to get my next hit even if it meant selling my body. I also had given both of my children away?because I loved the?way dope and alcohol made me feel more than I loved them. At the age of 26 I met a man that I thought?could change everything about me and my life including my addiction issues.?About 6 months into the relationship with my so called Mr. Right he started?being very abusive to me- he would lock me in rooms, beat me with belts and even sometimes wrap wire hangers around my neck. But after?having such an abusive history as a child?I thought that was ok and that was how a man showed their love for you.

Eventually I got sick of the beatings and?would call the?police on him. Each time they would throw?him in jail?for 30 days or so and I would take him back when he got out.

After about?4 years of the abusive relationship I finally got away from him and went?to a?shelter for abused women and enrolled in drug and alcohol treatment,?thinking once again my life and my addiction was going to change since I was out of the?abusive relationship. Yet? there was no change?I only stayed clean for 48 days then it was back off to the races again.?At the age 31 I was picked?up for my 4th DUI and posession of drugs and drug insturments.

After laying in the county jail for four months (thru? Thanksgiving, Christmas,?New Years and both my sons' bithdays) I was released?on the stipulation that I would go back to drug treatment and get help.?After being released I immediatley went out on a week long binge. During that week?I found out my mother? was in the hospital and had had a stroke?but the disease of addiction would not allow me to go see her or to even care that she may not have long to live.

During my second week of being released from jail I decided to go get the assestment for the drug and treatment facility. During the assestment they asked me for a urine sample and I didnt want to give them dirty urine becuase I knew I would have to attend meetings and drug counseling regularly so I told them I was going out to smoke a cigarette and I ran across the street to the hospital where my mother was when I entered her room she opened her eyes and immediatly started crying becuase she could not believe the weight I had lost and how horrible I had looked. I told?her please don't cry and just pee in a pill bottle for me and I promised her I would get my life together soon.

While walking back acroos the street to the treatment facility my mothers crys kept playing in my head and a little voice kept telling me "Beth, its time to stop this lifestyle and get your life together." So on my way in the door at the treatment facility I threw the pill bottle of pee in the trash and told myself today is the day you will make this change, today you will stop this never ending vicious cycle of addiction. And that I DID!

I am now 34 years old and have been clean for 2 and a half years. I have obtained a full time job,?I?also attend 12?step meeting regularly and ?I now have custody of my youngest son. I am working?on a relationship with my oldest son. I serve as president of the alumni committe for our local drug and treatment facility and hold a support group (to give back to my community)?once a week for women who are struggling with staying clean.

I'm not telling my story becuase I want a badge of honor or becuase I want?a parade, I'm telling my story becuase I want addicts out there to know that they too can make a change If you are struggling with addiction or even think you may be an addict please go to your local drug treatment facility or contact someone from your local 12 step program (AA or NA).

There is a better way of life out there that doesn't include drugs or alcohol. I am living proof of this, and I know that if I can do it you can too

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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