I grew up in a small town on the east coast. It was a dry town. I guess something about that made us all want to drink more. We drank every night! we bought beer late on Saturday,so we could drink on Sunday. Or we went to a bar. Any fake ID would do,as long as i was with my friends in there 20`s I did dabble a little in other drugs as well. I never became hooked on those.Although i will admit that the drinking was out of control. I was 15 at the time. I was dating a man that was 9 years older than myself. We eventually had a daughter together. I refused to marry him, and he beat me up right there on the sidewalk. Punching me in the stomach,hoping i would lose the baby. Well i did not lose the baby. I left him.

Later in my life i was introduced to cocaine in the 1980`s ?I became addicted almost immediately. This was the most pure cocaine in the country. Thank goodness i never started smoking it. I snorted it. I would not allow anyone to smoke it in my presence or shoot it either. Later i was very grateful for this. It`s much harder to stop smoking crack. After 3 years of this going on,i was pregnant again. I was now married with baby number 4 on the way. I knew what i had to do. It was not easy,i fell off the wagon once when i was 3 months pregnant. I can`t tell you the guilt involved with that! I decided it was time to change everything. This is what you MUST do. Move,change your phone number. Lose all the numbers you know will bring you back down. You can`t hang with anyone involved in the scene you are trying to escape from. Those people are not your true friends anyway. Misery loves company! True statement. Put your efforts into your immediate family. They probably don`t even know you by now. Because,you are not you. You are not the person they once knew. This is a new you. You have to start all over again,gaining their trust. I did this without the aid of councel. I did this because i did not want to die. I weighed 86 lbs when i got pregnant with my last child. I thank God everyday for all my girls. They are mature young women,full of life and drug free. I thank God for giving me a second chance at life. If i could do this without help,i think you can too. You just have to make up your mind,that you have had enough of this life! It`s not really a life at all. God Bless and best wishes with your recovery. NEVER STOP STOPPING. You may fall off,brush yourself off and keep trying!!!