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Self will run riot

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Self will run riot

Hi my name is Joy and I'm a 41 year old recovering addict. I started out like most people drinking alcohol. I was around 5 or 6 when I had my first drink. My mother used to make me hot tottys with liquor when I was sick. My father was an alcoholic and died when I was eleven years old. He was diagnosed with lung cancer, a brain tumor and hepatitus C. After high school I went to college thirty minutes from my home town and lived at home but that didn't keep me from taking advantage of being what I thought was being a grown up. I starting going to frat parties and got reintroduced to alcohol. I blackedout my first drunk and it didn't change from there. My drinking only increased from there but what I didn't know was I was a functional alcoholic. In my early thirties I started experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. I went to the doctor and he started me on xanax. My whole world changed, I thought I was ten feet tall and bullet proof. I started driving under the influence, shop lifting and attempting suicide. I was depressed and trying to fill a void and acting out in a xanax blackouts seemed to do the trick or so I thought. I grew up having a belief in a Higher Power and I severed that relationship on my end. Little did I know He didn't. I attemped suicide four times and I'm still here. After the fourth time I woke up in the hospital I realized something had to change because I was tired. I went to residential treatment about an hour from my home town. I learned about the disease of addiction and that my thinking can make my self will run riot if I don't keep it in check. I just celebrated four years of recovery and I could have only done that by the Grace of God. I have a sponsor I got to meetings and I work the twelve steps and I take life one day at a time. I'm truly grateful for being given a second chance at life and I actually feel like I'm living it today instead of trying to avoid it.



Partners for Hope raise critical funds on behalf Partnership to End Addiction – the nation’s leading organization dedicated to addiction prevention, treatment and recovery. Every dollar raised on behalf of the Partnership* will help ensure free, personalized family support resources, including our national helpline, peer-to-peer parent coaching, customized online tools and community education programs, can reach those who need them most. Please consider donating to this fundraiser and sharing this page.

*Donations made to Partnership to End Addiction are tax deductible to the extent allowed by law. All contributions are fully tax-deductible, as no goods or services are provided in consideration in whole, or in part, of any contribution to this nonprofit organization.  EIN: 52-1736502

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