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My life, my loss

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My life, my loss

Drugs, violence, jail, & eventually prison. That's the road I went down. I'm an addict and almost all of my family members are too. I went from occasional use on the weekends to daily use in a matter of months. Now you'll probably say that won't be you. That you only do it to have fun. Yeah I said that too. I also said I'm only gonna do it til I lose 20 pounds. Yeah right by then it was too late I was hooked not only to the Meth but to the lifestyle. I was 14 years old when I started "experimenting" with speed. By the time I was 19 I had 2 kids I was losing cuz the state said I wasn't fit. After that I was so depressed I gave up Meth was the only thing that I thought I wouldn't lose or that wouldn't leave me. I was in & out of jail my very first time for a Meth lab. Talk about scary this one was a fail to file a few months later I was back in jail on another lab charge. I know that not everyone that uses makes it but where else is it coming from? By the time I was 20 yrs old I was pregnant again and in jail for violating my probation. I NEVER thought I would go to prison I wasn't prison material but sure enough that's exactly where my addiction landed me. Just before my 21st birthday I was pregnant and in prison I was on a road to nowhere and I was scared at this point. What had I done? I had my baby while an inmate of the state. I didn't get to take my baby home and bond with him. I got to hand him over to a case worker and go back to my cell. I got out and wanted to do the right thing but before I knew it I was pregnant yet again and to "stop my boyfriend from using" I said if he did it I was going to and I was back to life as it was before. Needless to say I was back in prison and pregnant again. I always thought only the weak relapse but that's not true either. At one point I got off parole, was going to college to be an MA, and had my youngest kid in my life. Then I met a guy that I liked thinking this would be a fresh start but one day we were out and he asked if I wanted to get high. Next thing I know I'm taxing some lady for everything she has and writing fraudulent checks to get my next fix. I was only using for a year and looking at new charges and going back to prison again. That was my reality check. I didn't want that life anymore. I was released from jail and I decided I had had enough so I locked myself in my room in my mom's basement for two weeks after that I got a job and got myself into treatment because I knew the only way to beat the system was to be on track so that's what I did and have done ever since. Now I'm not about to say sobriety is easy but it truly is worth it. There have been side effects from using Meth I am now disabled with mental issues, I have chronic pain, and I have gained a lot of weight but there are a lot of good things too like being a mom to my youngest child, owning my own home and car, and being religious. Your family and the Lord above love you so much don't go down the same road I did, it's too long and it only brings pain and heartache to you everyone around you. I now have 6 years of sobriety and if I can help even one person my job is done.



Partners for Hope raise critical funds on behalf Partnership to End Addiction – the nation’s leading organization dedicated to addiction prevention, treatment and recovery. Every dollar raised on behalf of the Partnership* will help ensure free, personalized family support resources, including our national helpline, peer-to-peer parent coaching, customized online tools and community education programs, can reach those who need them most. Please consider donating to this fundraiser and sharing this page.

*Donations made to Partnership to End Addiction are tax deductible to the extent allowed by law. All contributions are fully tax-deductible, as no goods or services are provided in consideration in whole, or in part, of any contribution to this nonprofit organization.  EIN: 52-1736502

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