After living a nightmare I now realize anything is possible. I smoked and drank by the age of 14. By the time I was 16, I had a friend that was very big into coke. I had never tried it but was at the point I was willing to do anything. It pretty much went downhill from there. It was all fun and games doing coke 24/7, skipping school, spending all the money I had. There were a lot of days I didn't remember because I also drank or took bars while on coke. I realized I was addicted when I threw a fit because my dealer couldn't get any for me for a few hours.

I was 17 and a senor in high school when things went from bad to worse. I decided I should finally go to school and of course brought my coke with me in my wallet. Knew it was dumb but I was too addicted to care. A girl got caught with pills and blammed me (for once wasn't my doing!) so right after I got to school they brought me in the office and ended up searching me (found out later it was illegal because I was underage and they refused to let me call my parents). I handed over the coke, they called me dad, I got suspended and was pending a hearing to find out if I would get expelled or not. They told me they would not press charges because after a while I willingly handed over my cocaine.

Few days went by, my parents had moved on the shock and were busy trying to find ways to get me help. By this time I had gone from 90lbs to 75lbs. I ended up getting expelled 3 months before I was supposed to graduate. My mom got a phone call from a assistant principal who fought to keep me in school saying they were issuing a warrent for my arrest and wanted to secretly give us a heads up.

I got a lawyer, did get arrested but did walk threw. All in all because they also messed up on there part by not letting me cal my parents I ended up getting off easy with 1 year probation and if completed the charge of "an illegal substance within 1000 ft of a school zone" would be expunged. Which I did complete and that part of the story is good.

Before the school insident, I worked at a craft store that was very easy to steal from. I was coked up and never gave a shit about anything and ended up stealing a lot of stuff with some friends. Got caught and fired but once again got told no charges would be pressed since I was cooperative.

While I had settled and did a walk threw for jail for the school case I ended up getting a warrent for my arrest for the stealing. Cops came to my house at?6 am, arrested me and I spent 12 hours in jail. Got community serivce and had to pay the store back. That is now on my record but none of it woke me up. I was still doing coke everyday.

By 18 while all of this was going on I had met my boyfriend (now husband) and he did coke with me but never an all the time thing like me.

My lawyer advised me to do an outpatient rehab to help the judge see I was trying to clean up my act. I did it for the whole 4 weeks and in the last week of being there I found out one morning that my ex boyfriend had overdosed on heroin and was in the hopsital on lifesupport but they were going to take him off that afternoon so everyone could say bye since there was no hope for him. I went to the hospital that evening and after seeing him in that state it scared the living shit out of me. I realized that could be me one day, I would be doing this to my family and friends.

I started slowing down a lot after seeing that which was VERY hard coming off of it but I saw how much I was huring my parents and brother who did everything they could for me and NEVER gave up on me. The last time I ever touched coke was when I was 19 years old. For the record I did get my GED 1 month after I got expelled.

I straightened my life up, became clean sober daughter my parents had always wished for (minus the occasional alcoholic drink) got ended on my 20th birthday and 5 months later found out I was 10 weeks pregnant. Got married while I was 4 months pregnant and had a healthy baby boy in March 2010.

To this day I struggle and it gets worse when I see people in movis doing cocaine but having the support of my family has helped me get where I am today. I now have a sweet loving almost 3 year old boy?and couldn't even imagine fucking this up by letting a stupid drug take over my life again. I know I will struggle the rest of my life with this and know I will need to be honest with my son because addiction does run in my family. I hope more than anything he can learn from me and does not get in the trouble that I was in.

All in all there is hope. Whether you have family, friends or a support group...having someone to talk to and never judge you for your mistakes is key. Just gotta take it day by day. Corny but life is WAY too short to put the people you love threw hell because of a few hours of a high. Feeling alone and hopeless goes away once you realize that drugs and alcohol really are stupid! Bottom line is, NEVER GIVE UP.