I have been married for almost 19 years, well, as of right now not really married anymore. We are now getting a divorce. It all start about a year after we married, when I finally found out I was completely shocked, how does a 28 year old man start using cocaine. I was in denial and thought ok, just stop it. Well that didn't work. I didn't realize how addictive this drug was, I knew very little about it. After realizing how addictive it was, it was too late. He was stealing from family and not bringing home his paycheck. I told him he needed to start going to NA meetings. He did and they helped and he stopped. But over the last 19 years he has relapsed 5 times. At 46 years old, 2 children, 3 affairs, 1 repossessed vehicle, bankruptcy, credit card fraud, 1 count of grand larceny, loss of business and customers, loss of some friends, and that's just a few if the material things. The lies, one on top of the other. Complete loss of trust, mental abuse and all the extremely lonely nights when he told me he was going to talk to a customer or any excuse he could come up with. The not knowing if he was alive or overdosing, or having a heart attack or even a stroke, in some dark parking lot. It was cruel and I kept this dark secret to myself for years. It wasn't untill 2 years ago, I finally said...NO I'm not dealing with this anymore. I, as a parent, needed to make a change in my life and put a stop to this. My children were getting older, and he was making mistakes by leaving remnants of his drug abuse laying around the house. I finally stood up and asked him to leave. I told the children, and explained to them the situation and why I didn't want him here anymore. This drug is extremely addictive, it takes over your life. Changes you, and the families affected with it directly. Someone recommend a book to read its called "beautiful boy". It was a great help teaching me to understand, what can and can't be done. There's a lot of my story that's been left out a lot. But I'm hanging in there trying to start my life over. He has been clean now for 7 months. Please think twice before you use, not only you'll ruin your own life, your family suffers also.