For Me, This is Life or Death
For Me, This is Life or Death
My 21st birthday was everything I had envisioned it to be, except for the ending of it. Of course I spent the whole day and night drinking & using. But after the bar, at my apartment, I lost all control. I flipped out on my best friend, and tore our whole apartment apart, I shoved her and screamed at her til 4:30 in the morning, when she finally called my mom to get her help. My mom told her to bring me over, and on the car ride there, I decided I wanted to go to treatment. The first time I wanted the help for me. The day after my 21st is my clean date. I spent three days in detox, two days in jail and was in a treatment facility 4 days later. That decision completely changed my life.
In treatment I attended every NA meeting I possibly could, got a sponsor and made the decision to change my life, no matter what I had to do. After treatment, I stayed in the town that I went to treatment in and started a new life. A life completely clean. I began to work a 12 step program, and only talked to other people in recovery. I no longer had any reason to talk to anyone I had used with. I took the suggestions people in the program gave me, well most of them.
In less than 2 weeks, I will turn 22 and the day after that, I will be celebrating 1 year clean! It's pretty amazing and emotional to look back at where I was a year ago. Today I work a full time job, I am in a healthy relationship with another addict in recovery, we pay our bills on time, we have nice things, we partake in family events, we still attend meetings 3 times a week and we only socialize with people who are in recovery also. I hold 2 service positions, and still work a 12 step program. I am beginning to look into schooling, talk to my sponser every day, and no matter what, I don't pick up. Just because I am clean doesn't mean life is easy at times. But even my worst day clean is better then my best day using. Today I have gratitude and a higher power in my life. But the most important thing is that I am clean and my recovery comes first in my life, NO MATTER WHAT.
Anyone can have this way of life, you just have to want it for yourself. If you want something you've never had you have to do something you've never done.
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