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Chasing a ghost finding pain looking for peace

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Chasing a ghost finding pain looking for peace

my name is lee and my story is simple i chose drugs and they destroyed my life. im no religious person just spiritual and withought the god of my understanding i could not face some of life's challenges last year i lost my mother and im about to be homeless by feb 28th but after 2 years of being clean and living life on its terms and having the chains of addiction removed from my neck today i know that no matter what i cannot use for its not the solution but it will definatly compound the problems that already exist.

ive been in the military, jail for 10 years and slept in the street and eat out of garbage cans just to survive ive had unprotected sex and im blessed to not be infected with my risky lifestyle,me and my partner come from two different backgrounds im african american she's irish german yet for ten going on eleven years we've been together we've had all the privlidges of life just to throw them back by using and find a better way to live.

she's now 51 with 2 years in college emplolyed at the barclay center and times are hard but we fight on knowing drugs is not the solution to any problems we may have, it a temporary fix with devasting results. im 52 unemployed/self employed i graduated from apex as a automotive technician now owing about 30 grand on my student loan yet i trudge on fixing cars at a autozone to make ends meet when my spouse's unemployment ran out. just know that we are products of NA but today know that its just a bridge back to life not the completer solution to the addictive behaviors we adapted with our addition.

once the drugs are gone your still left with you? this is a constant re examination of oneself with a rest of our lives self check to be aware that once an addict always an addict with addictive behaviors, please seek help and then keep hope and gain faith in your higher power. love yourself and maintain a whatch on yourself not your family or your spouse your problem is your own mess to keep cleaned up and it sometimes takes a life time but its worth it. REMEMBER WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMEY,if you dont pick it up you cant use it.

Gods Blessings to all in the struggle, No matter what we dont use.


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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