when i was 17 i started shooting up speed. 2 years later i started shooting cocaine too. i almost lost my kids because of it. luckliy the cps worker that visited me was a recovering addict and i couldn't bullshit him. i was told to get treatment or lose my kids. i went to treatment in july of 89. i have been off the dope since then. in 2005 i started drinking. at first, it was great fun. in less than a year, it was hell on earth. i went to detox in april 2006. i was sober for about 18 months. then i started drinking again. i have been to detox at least 15 times for alcohol and treatment for it 2 times. i managed to get 4 months of sobriety then i fucked it up. since then it has been pure hell until 6 days ago. i was laying on the bathroom floor unable to do anything other than dry heave when i decided that i've had enough. my kids wanted nothing to do with me, my husband was threatening divorce, couldn't see my grandkids. i was tired of being sick and drunk. tired of existing only to drink. tired of stealing from my husband to buy vodka. i prayed to god to please help me. and he has so far. i laid around too sick to move for 2 days. on the third day i started going back to aa meetings. i go everyday right now. i ask god, as i understand him every morning to help me stay sober, to help me not want to drink. i don't want my mother to have to worry that she's gonna have to bury her kid. she doesn't deserve that kind of worry and heartache. if you want to save your life, get yourself some kind of help. go to detox. go to treatment. go to aa/na meetings. just do something other than what you have been doing. dope and booze will never make your life worth living. it will make your life hell. please just do something to save your life and make it worth living. you deserve it. i hope this helps someone. you are worth it.
This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.