I started expirimenting with drugs since i was 8 and took my first hit of weed. i was sexually abused as a child and as a result found addiction and destructive behavior as an outlet.by the time i was 12 i was a full blown stoner smoking weed thinking i was cool.I got my homework done was active in sports, all of it.Then when i was 14 i was raped by my uncle this caused me once again into another downward spiral i didnt tell anyone for two years and while i holding in the pain i started to get into harder drugs.By the time i was 16 and finally told someone i was doing thizz(exstacy),mescaline,shrooms,weed,meth and drinking.I was involved in a lot of sports and school activities and ended up dropping out of school and getting my ged when i was 16 and went to community college when i was 17.despite me doing all of these drugs i still managed to get a full ride scholarship for volleyball to a good christian college.The thing that really messed it all up was when i got in trouble with some friends and "I wasnt no snitch" so i didnt give the cops any information so they gave me my first felony two months after my 18th birthday,mind you i had never wqent to juvenille hall or anything never been in cuffs before.I then started probation and as soon as I was released from county jail i started hustlin(selling drugs) and smoking meth and weed and drinking again.I was doing at least an 8 ball everyday or two with my firends and smoking lots of weed to compensate for when i came down and drinking because i was thirsty, i never got drunk because i was always too high on meth.I went on a 14 day binge, didnt sleep at all, and ended up stealing guns from my family, my own flesh and blood and didnt remember but who else could it have been i was the only one there. I was so ashamed of myself and gave myself up and ended up getting three more felonies. Amongst me partying,stealing,lying and not getting caught for things i should have i figured my sentence was fair.Now 6 years later here i am almost 24 years old and a 4 time felon. However I have always been one to fight and i have good morales as a person i jut dont have them when i am that other person i was on drugs.I have since fought for everything, i left my family in my home state and came back to my birthplace in alaska.I knew i needed a drastic change.I came up here with $20.00, my purse and my suitcase. Since then i now have a very good job i have kept for 3 years,I am getting off probation on march 29th 2013 and have very good goals in my life.I am paying on my bills becoming responsiblea nd live bymyself ,making payments on my car and most importantly my restitution.My family shunned me for not only being raped and causing a rift but for what i intentionally did to them.My mom, grandma and grandpa and a few others were the only ones out of a Huge family network that actually kept talking to me. They didnt help me until i was ready and showed i deserved it.That is what helped me the most is for them to cutt me off and fend for myself. I have slept on the street and couch surfed for years but i made it and am still making it. I have good goals for myself and want to own a restaraunt. I am a very strong willed person and it took everything inside me to complete treatment but i did it and still have the coin :) . I had verbal encourgment but besides that i did it all on my own and am now strong than ever.It can be done you have to want it and stop talking about it and be about it.I have always been a go getter and just let some things really get in the way.addiction was only the beggining of my self destruction.If anyone is reads this and has a problem please know your not alone no matter who you are where you are, someones always fighting for the right to have peace of mind and a clear heart.It can be done you just have to want it.