My name is Haley and here is my story.
it all started when i was 17. i had never even had a sip of alcohol. i was still a virgin. i went to school everyday and lived a life that any 17 year old?girl would want too. but then,?i started dating this boy who sold drugs and also abused them. i got my very first prescription of hydrocodone...and so the fun began.
he tells me "come on babe, just take one or two..i promise you'll like it." and ofcourse i wanted to fit in with him and his crowd, so.. i did. i began to abuse hydrocodone until my tolorance was too high that i couldnt feel the high anymore.. so i moved on up to stronger opiates.. (pain killers) such as perkasette, oxycotten and?methadone. in the mix of all this, i started to drink and party alot. my father had been convicted of a crime and was taken to prison, so i suppose i felt i had to mask my pain with prescription drugs and alcohol. little did i know at the time, i was in for a long road myself also slowly being imprisioned by addiction.
My boyfriend and i broke up about two years later. at this point i was mentally and phyically addicted to pain killers. if i didnt have them, i would have cold sweats, head aches, restless leg syndrome, anxiety and sometimes even vomiting. no one wanted to be around me because my life revolved around getting my pills for the day. eventually i lost two cars and my house and a good handful of friends and family.
then...i meet another boy. we were only together for a few months?before?he introduces me to meth. so, on top of my opiate addiction, i now endure another. meth is completely different from my drug of choice. i smoked this drug, i liked the high. i stayed up for days on end and everything seemed to be going my way.. then, i run out of meth. i felt terrible. my throat was hurting so bad that i couldnt breathe well, let alone talk. my head was spinning. i was so dehydrated that my skin was sunk in all over my body. at this point i had realized that i hadnt eaten in days. i went to the hospital for obvious reasons. i was diagnosed with tonsilitus. (an infection in my throat.) once i was over that sickness.. i went back for more...
this cycle went on for months, intertwined with lying, stealing and fighting. i witnessed my boyfriend get jumped multiple times. there were times that my car was stolen.. my friends were raped. all over dope. i even had a close friend die because of meth and yet i still chose to do it. "why?"?ive asked myself that question many times. i have yet to find an answer.
There arent many people that i know that have?stopped using drugs the way i did. i just took a step back and did a re-cap on the past few years of my life. i realized that i didnt want to end up the way some of my friends and family did. i seen that i actually did have something to live for.?it took me a very long time to see the truth in what i was doing to my body and mind and also my family, i decided i wanted help.?i can honestly say that if i wasnt for my family, i would probably be dead. when the whole time i thought they were the enemy because they always tried to talk to me about my addiction and i always felt that they were trying to force an intervention on me. out of everyone who has helped me, my mother has been the most supportive. she truly is my angel. she taught me how to be headstrong about my problem and how to move on. she has never done drugs a day in her life. she amazes me everyday.
today i have been clean for 3 and a half?months. i aknowledge the fact that i am a recovering addict. addiction is a disease. it bounds you to depression and hate and lonelyness. its a venom from the ugliest darkest serpent.. the devil. with drugs in my life, i could have never been happy. but now, with the help from my family and my religeous beliefs, i can move on and leave all of that in my past. exactly where it belongs.
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