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Hello my name is Diane and I am a walking miracle saved by God's grace . I am 8 yrs. clean from a 38 year drug addiction. I started using drugs upon meeting my mother when I was 15 yrs.old and the madness didn't end until I was 52. During my addiction I did whatever it took to get my drug of choice. I abandoned my children to lighten my load and devoted my life to drugs. I experienced with them all going from one hard drug to the other and doing everything I said I'd never do to get them short of murder. My drug addiction lead my butt to a prison for a total of 5 yrs and put me in the hospital several times for drug over dose and worse an infection of my heart sack from using gutter water to cook heroin, I nearly died, most people don't live through it and that didn't even stop me. I had resigned to the fact that I was a drug addict, I will go to prison , hospitals, I will sell my body , I will be a nobody but I had weighed it out in my mind and decided it was worth it! Doing drugs was my life style, every day all day I gave myself permission to be just that ....a drug addict.

As a child I was raised by my father's mom in a christian home but I wasn't allowed to see my mother . My grandmother was a very strict German lady who didn't know how to show love and I didn't realize her love for me was when she took care of me. I was always looking for love from who ever would show it. So when I was molested by my grandfather I mistook his advances. Needless to say his attention to me just confused me even more. As a child I walked around aimlessly looking for something, feeling empty for years. It's no wonder why I found it on the streets- I was open to anything!

I had been incarcerated many times for prostitution, possession, sales and under the influence . I had been hospitalized many times for drug related situations. I had lost my children , I was homeless and to be honest I was tired! At age 52 I was to show up for court on Monday morning once again this time for a violation of probation and I was looking at 3 more years. It was Friday I had been on a 3 day run with meth and this court day was nagging me and ruining my high. I kept thinking the judge would probably let me get away with a program if I could get myself in one. I was fighting the fact that on Monday I would probably go to jail for 3 years . So I got as high as I could afford to and I finally called the program director of HIS WAY RECOVERY Al Deardorff in Manteca CA. and he tells me to walk to the park and someone would pick me up. WHAT? ALREADY? NOW.........YUP, ALREADY, RIGHT NOW!

Now you've got to realize that from the moment I let them pick me up to this moment right now I have been nudged by a power much greater than myself but I figured my best thinking got me where I was so far and this small little voice in me was making some kinda sense. So I allowed this greater power (MY GOD) to push me . At first I was reluctant and I wanted to leave . I wasn't locked in, I could leave at any moment but that would really piss off the judge and besides that I began to like the way I was feeling about myself . It was the first time in years I felt absolutely free. My chains came off and I was free! I felt as if I was free falling at times because I had given up all my power and let God handle it! The most invigorating feeling no drug had ever given me! That's right I was high on life!

I went on to do the year in the program that the courts required of me and stayed on for another year and a half to give back to the program and had the pleasure of being a house leader . One day I got curious to see if I could find my daughter on Facebook and after trying several things there she and my grand kids were all lined up in a beautiful picture! So I messaged her and I now reside with her and her family in SC. I tell you God has allowed me to come full circle and it's never too late. All you've got to do is surrender!

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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1. Julie
Thank you for sharing your story with us!