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My Hell

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My Hell

My name is Lauren the picture you see is real. before and after. I have been drug free for 4 years. I didn't have a horrible child hood. I came from an average family and had tons of love and attention. I started hanging out the the " cool kids" and wanted so desperately, as most kids do, to " fit in". by the time I was 14 I had left home where my iv use of Heroin and cocaine was considered unacceptable and opted to be homeless. I would live this way for 12 years. in and out of rehab, jail and eventually prison. spending 3 years in prison was the best thing that ever could've happened to me. all those 30-90 day rehabs and jail bids were a joke. that gave me just enough time to get some energy back, gain a little weight, meet a few "new friends" and go back at it. it wasn't until prison that I finally gained some clarity, put actual thought into my past and reflect on my life... who am I? what have I become? how many bridges did I burn? what do I want to do with the rest of my life? who do I want to be? when I came home from prison, on 3 more years of parole I had no where to go, my family just wasn't convinced that I was done, as they had heard the same old song and dance so many times before. I was placed in a drug infested homeless shelter in newark nj, the same place I spent many years getting high, living in the streets. I was scared to death, but one thing was for sure, my mind was made up, I was not going to use any more no matter what. in the shelter I was offered drugs many many times by both residents and staff. this was my test, how bad did I want this?

while in the shelter I enrolled in school to become a social worker, to help people because everybody in this world has issues and vices and everybody could use a helping hand. I want to help people now, not hurt them...wow.... strange sometimes when I look at my past that I am actually the same person. I also got a job, a minimum wage crappy job but....I need the money and fast money is no longer an option. I am living right today, everything I do is legal, I no longer worry about the cops stopping me and running my name and finding 14 warrants, dragging me off to jail. it took a lot of work, and about a year of saving literally every single penny but I managed to get out of that horrid shelter. today, I sit here in my own apartment, that I pay for, on my day off from work and school and share my story with you.

I am proof. yes, I still work that horrible minimum wage crappy job that I've been at for over a year with no raise, and swollen ankles from too much work, I am less than a year away from my AS degree with a 3.8 gpa and a promise into the 4 year school of my choice in the accelerated BA and MA program. I have stresses and hardships and most importantly, I have an amazing network of people in my life, none of whom unfortunately include my family who can't seem to allow me to live down past mistakes. I have pushed them away because they have done nothing but try to force me down the road of guilt. that is their problems that they need to resolve, I have resolved mine. I am free, I am clean and I am living right, most importantly, I AM HAPPY!!! live, laugh and love...life is too short to be wasted. many blessings.



Partners for Hope raise critical funds on behalf Partnership to End Addiction – the nation’s leading organization dedicated to addiction prevention, treatment and recovery. Every dollar raised on behalf of the Partnership* will help ensure free, personalized family support resources, including our national helpline, peer-to-peer parent coaching, customized online tools and community education programs, can reach those who need them most. Please consider donating to this fundraiser and sharing this page.

*Donations made to Partnership to End Addiction are tax deductible to the extent allowed by law. All contributions are fully tax-deductible, as no goods or services are provided in consideration in whole, or in part, of any contribution to this nonprofit organization.  EIN: 52-1736502

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