My story began when I was 15 yrs old , I am 44 now. My addiction to everything from liquor to heroin has caused more tragedy and heartache to countless people in my life. The one who has lost the most has been my son who I've not seen for 6 years. What started out as recreational use turned into a full blown living breathing demon. I tried countless times in rehab, eventually landed in a state mental hospital. All this time though I still had not hit my rock bottom . Its true what they say every time you relapse your decline is that much worse. In 04 my husband divorced me and took custody of our son . But I got my act together fixed all my legal problems got joint custody back with my son and stayed sober, but time goes on an as all addicts do I forgot all the bad stuff. I got comfortable, my mind started to say you can have a few loratabs or a drink (its no big deal). Well my 2007 Im selling crack and working for an escort service shortly after that I loose my son entirely by 2008 Im coooking n doing meth and in 09 I get my first felony for possession of meth. By 2010 Im now shooting up heroin again which I hadn't done in like 6 yrs! Im now helping my boyfriend burglarize homes, steal cars and exploiting other women. My family is no longer in my life and everyday is the same nightmare hustling to get money to get high, and then over n over again. In 2011 I was sent to prison while I was there I just dropped to my knees one day when I was in Max. I told God I surrender, Im not in control and havent been in a long time, I need help. I focused on God and on letting go and stopped making excuses for myself. I stayed in my bible I didnt make parole the first time I went up, but you see it wasnt Gods time for me.He had it all worked out, by the time I went up again my family and I had reconciled!!! They wanted me to come home. I have only been out for 2 months but I know that this is my new beginning .Only by Gods grace has ny ex decided to let my son be apart of my life again and the most amazing part is that my now 15 yr old son wants to be in my life he tells me everyday that he loves me! If you are struggling with addiction I can assure getting high will not make your life easier or more fun or glamorous. It steals kills and destroys! I do know that if you can not only admit you have a problem but SURRENDER your entire self to God he will be there for you. Sometimes we feel as addicts that God has left us, he has not ever left us we walked away from him