I'm Cindy and I'm an addict..I'm also in recovery, my clean date is May 15 2008. I wanted to share my story because if a junkie like me can get clean and change her life then you can too.

I suffered from depression, had low self esteem and just wanted to fit in as a teenager. I got caught up in the drinking and experimenting with drugs scene. I just wanted to feel better, I wanted everyone to like me. Eventually that led me to a life of just trying everything. I was a human garbage can, I didn't wanna feel anything, good or bad.

When I had my daughter at 26 I got terrible back problems. I found someone who could get me heroin to relieve the pain. That was when I found my drug of choice. I started out snorting ended up shoving needles in my arm. Eventually my back recovered but not because of the drugs -- the problem with heroin is if u do it a few times in a row you get hooked. I would get violently ill when I didn't get my fix -- throwing up, diarrhea, the sweats, fever, leg cramps, etc. Basically it was like having the flu but it was really withdrawal.

I left my husband, changed locations but I didn't get help. Eventually I had to start stealing (that wasn't how I was?brought up) to support my habit. It consumed me. I lived to use and used to live. I wasn't living, just existing. I hated myself and wanted to die.

Finally I had the gift of desperation and in 2008. I sought help.I went to detox, rehab and then a halfway house for woman. I was 44 years old and had lost everything. My family wanted nothing to do with me and my 15-year-old daughter had to move across the country to live with her dad. That was in 2008.

Since then I've changed. I'm now the woman I was meant to be. I found narcotics anonymous and alcoholics anonymous. The program of recovery saved my life. I got a sponsor, read the literature and I still go to a lot of meetings. I?love recovery, I lead a happy peaceful simple life now. I had to became honest open-minded and willing to do anything to recover. I changed people, places and things but most of all I changed me. I found myself. I went from a negative person to being positive and grateful everyday.

I got a second chance at life and I share my story to help others. My daughter is proud of me and each year when I celebrate another year clean and sober my parents who are in their 80s come and sit in the front row. I'm very happy today and I don't think of the old me. I sought treatment, I got help and I was willing to change -- that's the key. I have a fatal and progressive illness that wants me dead. I now have tools such AA, a network and meetings that I can use against my disease.

I only hope others who?are hurting and miserable can know there is a better life, there is help but you have to want it.

Wishing you all a safe journey and I hope you can find recovery and live a happy life. God bless you all!