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Family secret that I made public

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Family secret that I made public

I knew something weird happened to me by the time I was 12. Both my parents were alcoholics and my 4 siblings were taking advantage of that by staying out late and following in their footsteps. I'm the youngest and I remember crying at night when I was alone with my mother while she was passed out drunk thinking she was dead, but she always woke up hours later. I starting drinking when I was 16. I was an overweight dorky kid and I left my friends for the more popular free spirited "cool" kids. There was alot of drinking and some sex. I'm also biracial and was always told to think, act and be white but my hair says otherwise. By the time I was in my 20's a "cool" friend introduced me to the dark world of stripping and escorting (prostitution). There is where I started drinking heavily and I eventually got introduced and hooked on cocaine. I was caught up in this very fast life style trying to keep up with myself, but I felt so free and I had no problems to deal with when I was "flying". I started to have blackouts waking up in jails, hospitals, hearing stories from doctors, police and witnesses of things that I had no memory of doing! Everytime I saw my oldest brother he would beat me up and call me all kinds of names and I wondered why he did that out of everyone else. So as time went on I kept doing what I did best for fast cash and I was told by everyone I'm a natural and at the same time the customers told me that I'm better than this i could do so much more. I eventually tried therapy and discovered that my oldest brother raped me when I was 6 years old, at that time he was 14. I am now 38 and I have recently confronted him and it took such a weight off my life!!

I am starting over (career wise) and I have been sober for 2 years. I confronted my biggest fear that I ran from most of my life and with prayer the temptation is no longer there! A lot of people aren't as lucky as me, some dead, some half dead, locked up and a few escaped and live normal lives like myself! Whatever it is in life that is haunting you will lead you to believe that drinking & drugs are the solution and it will destroy you if you don't get a hold on it first! I wish you the best that life has to offer but if you take the wrong path, you might not be alive to write a story like i did, M.H.

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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