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Sarah Blackmar

Created by Sarah Blackmar

Sarah Blackmar

My name Is Sarah and I am an alcoholic addict. Growing up I had an alcoholic father who got sober in 2002 for my family and himself. All around me my friends and friends of family smoked pot. When I was 13 I tried it for the first time with my sister. I didn’t become a daily smoker until years later. There was fake Marijuana going around called K2 and when i went to a new dealer that is what I got. I had stoped smoking for a year and I went to a music festival and thought I would try it again; it was laced with PCP. I changed my vice shortly after. My freshman year in highschool I was a passenger in a bad car wreck and suffered back pain. The doctors prescribed me Hydrocodone. I heard story’s of people using it to get high, I thought I would snort it and see what the hype was about. It was glorious. I would use it from time to time to get high until my sophomore year. The beginning of the year my best friend had overdosed on a drug she called triple C’s. A month after she passed a girl from my history class chased after me and handed me a bag of pills. The girl explained to me she was about to be searched by the principal for smoking in the bathroom and told me to get rid of them and she never wanted to see them again. I was going to a group therapy session and had the bag of pills in my backpack. I proceeded to go to the restroom and do one of the strong doses Oxycodone’s. That is when my addiction truly struck. After that bag ran out I was looking to friends to find my drug for me and payed hefty amounts to have it. I was 80 days into my sophomore year and missed 50. I even had sex with people for drugs. I knew I had a problem, I didn’t care, I was having fun. My oxy turned to Opana, Opana to Heroine, Heroine to fentnyol. I was also given klonapin by my doctor. My parents knew I had a problem, they didn’t know my problem was drugs. Any time I ran out of my drug of choice I would use my klonapin with alcohol and I drank a whole lot. I was filling tumblrs with alcohol and another with water. One night I stole a bottle from a friends house and took a bottle of my pills. I have had guns pulled on me, I have been raped by men I owed money. I lived on a roof at an apartment. I did many crazy things and put myself in danger, and many others. The only reason i am sober today is because of my will to live. I drank a bottle of a nice bitter red wine, a 5th of sky vodka, a bottle of Klonapin and a bit of fentnyol one night. I woke up in a random house and was so scared. Turns out I knew that house, that house was my best friends and I couldn’t recognize it. I couldn’t recognize my friends... when I woke up I was still messed up, I drove home and waited for my mom to get home. I wanted to tell her I loved her before I killed myself. She came upstairs as I was mid meltdown from drugs. I had slit my legs and when i made it to the garage I slit my wrists vertical in front of my dad. I did some damage I couldn’t take back. I was sent to the hospital then thrown into a detox place and mental health. I had been messed up so long I suffered from hypothermia, nose bleeds, throwing up, tremors, and much much more.I am now over a month sober. I have a job, I am getting back into school, and there is much more to come. But I am a fighter. Thank you for letting me share my story.

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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