Miranda was my mom. She died when I was 9-years-old, I'm 18 now. She always seemed happy. ?I struggle as I try to write about her. I miss her and loved her very much of course, but it's hard not to be mad, or really bitter, even still. However she did have many great qualities. My mom had a BEAUTIFUL smile. My mom was a fiery red head with big waves and feathered bangs (oh, the styles of the 90's!). I would take naps with her during the day after she stayed out all night drinking and getting high. Even if I was not tired I would lay with her in our dark basement, just to be close to her. To fall asleep she would shake her foot. I always found it calming, and so now I do it when I try to fall asleep. She always smelled of deep vanilla, I will never forget.
The night my mom died my sister and I were with her (I also have 2 older brothers). We were in Detroit that night. It was so late and my sister and I were so tired. We just wanted to go home. Our last stop was this diner my aunt worked at. She told my mom, who was already drunk and high (and we all knew it.) to take us home. So she did. When we got home she made a pallet on the living room floor for us and kissed us goodbye one last time. She said she had to "take her friend home". I begged her to stay, but she left anyways. A few hours later there was a banging on the front door. I was terrified so I made my sister answer the door. The second I saw 2 friends of the family walk the the door I knew something had happened to her. I kept asking if my mom was okay and they were very short with me and they acted as if they were in a hurry. I knew there was something wrong. They told us to go back to sleep. The next memory I have was of someone saying "Shes gone. She's dead." As a 9-year-old, I freaked out. Screamed and stomped. It was awful.?
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My mom loved all four of us kids. That I know. I may not remember all the details but I do know she loved us, and I will never forget her. Sometimes I get scared...that maybe I will. But I know I wont, I can't.?
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R.I.P Mom. We love and miss you.?