In memory of Samuel Converse
Created by Family Of Samuel Converse
Samuel Converse
Sam loved life. He was charming, funny and made friends easily. But, he also struggled with demons. There was nothing he wouldn't try. As a little kid, he'd climb the highest tree, jumped the farthest and move the fastest. He seemed to have no fear except for maybe the fear of abandonment and the fear of not fitting in. The conflict was the wrestling match he fought for 18 short years.
This conflict also led him to make some bad choices. What began with the choice to experiment with marijuana at age 12 escalated over time to include cocaine, ecstasy, xanex and others and became the doorway to death. He overdosed on a combination of cocaine and xanex and died on February 24, 2008.
He died surrounded by so-called "friends" who were really just drug users themselves. He didn't know who his real friends were. And so he was alone. It was all part of the conflict.
For those left behind the pain is horrendous. I write with a mothers' broken heart. I'm struggling with the "what ifs" and "whys" that so many do who are left behind. I keep coming back to the conflict Sam struggled with and I know it was not his fault. He had too many strikes against him from the start.
Sam was a drug baby, or what was called a drug baby in 1989. I'm not sure the term is still used. We adopted him knowing he could have any number of problems. It was a family adoption. My husband is Sam's biological grandfather. We thought nurturing, unconditional love and patience would be enough to rescue him. We tried our best. We did many things to help him. But we couldn't solve the conflict. In the end, God solved it and took Sam out of his torment.
We saw Sam that day before he died. (A day I consider a blessing). He stopped by the house as was his practice and hugged and kissed us and told us he loved us. We told him the same, smiled, waved and said, "See ya." Those simple ordinary words are no longer simple to us but profound.
Please remember that none of us is promised tomorrow so make the most of today. Say "I Love You" to the ones you love and hug them tight. It may not be an ordinary day.
This conflict also led him to make some bad choices. What began with the choice to experiment with marijuana at age 12 escalated over time to include cocaine, ecstasy, xanex and others and became the doorway to death. He overdosed on a combination of cocaine and xanex and died on February 24, 2008.
He died surrounded by so-called "friends" who were really just drug users themselves. He didn't know who his real friends were. And so he was alone. It was all part of the conflict.
For those left behind the pain is horrendous. I write with a mothers' broken heart. I'm struggling with the "what ifs" and "whys" that so many do who are left behind. I keep coming back to the conflict Sam struggled with and I know it was not his fault. He had too many strikes against him from the start.
Sam was a drug baby, or what was called a drug baby in 1989. I'm not sure the term is still used. We adopted him knowing he could have any number of problems. It was a family adoption. My husband is Sam's biological grandfather. We thought nurturing, unconditional love and patience would be enough to rescue him. We tried our best. We did many things to help him. But we couldn't solve the conflict. In the end, God solved it and took Sam out of his torment.
We saw Sam that day before he died. (A day I consider a blessing). He stopped by the house as was his practice and hugged and kissed us and told us he loved us. We told him the same, smiled, waved and said, "See ya." Those simple ordinary words are no longer simple to us but profound.
Please remember that none of us is promised tomorrow so make the most of today. Say "I Love You" to the ones you love and hug them tight. It may not be an ordinary day.
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Comments
1.
Julie
Julie
I'm so sorry for your loss.
2.
Mary Bishop Sean Kellys Aunt
Mary Bishop Sean Kellys Aunt
Cheryl, please know that Sam loves you and is with you each day. It's so tragic and senseless when this happens. All we can do is place our trust in God and know that he has a plan for each of us. May He keep Sam close and watch over you and your family.
3.
Angela Gwynn Mother Of Dallas Nguyen
Angela Gwynn Mother Of Dallas Nguyen
Since the death of my son, my heart breaks easier and I come back and see another beautiful child lost forever to the ones who loved them most of all. The pain can be so unbearable and lonely. Samuel got a good start, you gave him a good start. No certainties, no assurances. We know that. We know and yet our hope is so great and our love greater. I am so very sorry. So sorry. Samuel's short life burned bright enough, believe. Never forgotten. Love and Peace...
4.
Elaine Davidsmama
Elaine Davidsmama
Dear Cheryl, I am another Florida Mom with a story of a beautiful young man lost to drugs. I'm so sorry you all lost such a wonderful person. It seems they are the ones we lose, the ones who stand out for their caring, loving, generosity, and simply being a true friend. Too sensitive to the hearache of this world. He sounds like a great kid! I wish I'm sorry was enough, but I know from experience it isn't. Peace and comfort for you!!
5.
Blake Steevenson
Blake Steevenson
i feel your ain but it was your fault for not trying enough to stop all of this from happening
6.
Theresa Basting Mother Of Jason Basting
Theresa Basting Mother Of Jason Basting
Cheryl, You were a light in Sam's life and he will not be forgotten. Thank you for your inspiring words. God's peace be with you.
7.
John Sean Kelly's Dad
John Sean Kelly's Dad
Cheryl, yo are so right about tomorrow in never promised. I feel your pain, it is something that no one can ever understand unless they walk in our shoes. Hopefully our message will reach some soul out there that will find the power to seek the strenght to stop using or never start. Sam will never be forgotten. Peace and love.
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