My husband and I met when we were very young. We were childhood sweethearts. I knew we would be together for the rest of our lives. We were married and had three beautiful children together. He struggled with alcoholism since he was 14 years old and depression. I always seemed to help him out and talk him into stopping. Every time something went wrong, he would go to the bottle. Then one day I noticed it was more. He was using cocaine and then crack. It was a nightmare but I loved him very much. I tried to help him. He called me his guardian angel and said he was happy I was his wife. We would talk for hours and I would always convince him to go to rehab. One day the depression was to much. He had lost his job and other things in his life. He started using crack. My husband said the pain was to hard to bare, so he killed himself. It affected me because I was not there on time. He waited for my help and when I got to the house he had shot himself.He said it was too late and did it.