My family started to migrate back east when we were in high school and my parents divorced. My dad moved to Oklahoma and soon my two younger sisters moved out there as well. That was the beginning of a long absence of my sisters in my life as an adult. Melissa married a man from Oklahoma and had two boys. She subsequently divorced, remarried, divorced, and remarried again, which also ended in divorce. My sister and I were reunited in 2002 when she moved back home to California after her divorce. She was very distraught over this divorce and was on a lot of prescription meds from her physician for a personality disorder, which had been fueled with the use of drugs and alcohol over her entire adult life. She once showed me a handful of pills that she was taking that she had in her pocket, a multitude of different pills. I was to say the least a little shocked to know my sister was on these meds. She lived here for over a year during which time we partied together, smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol. She was very lost, as was I, and just looking to fill a void in her life. As a result of her depression and struggles, she decided after a night of drinking to end her life, which she did by pulling the trigger of a shotgun with her toe and shooting herself in the chest. The subsequent pain and grief her sons as well as other family members went through was a nightmare. It has taken about seven years for us to get to the point of trying to remember the fun she brought into all our lives and not focus on her death. I feel that her use of substances led to her ultimate decision to end her life. Alcohol is legal but deadly. If there is one thing i learned from all this is if a family or friend ever talks to you about feeling suicidal, DO NOT LEAVE THEM ALONE, GET THEM HELP ASAP. You may not have the chance to do it for them again.
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