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In memory of Nick Kutchback

Created by Family Of Nick Kutchback

Nick Kutchback

What were you feeling through those momentsMoments before your last breathI wonder what it was you were thinkingDid you know you were meeting death Were you scared or were you frightenedDid you know what was to becomeDid you cry out for my helpIf I knew I would have come I pray to God you didn'tI pray you did not knowI pray that you were still asleepAnd left peacefully so When I woke that morningIt was just like any dayI was not thinking of you at that timeNow that seems so far away But hours later I found outAnd I'll never forget that painA dagger had pierced my heart right thenAnd nothing would be the same All that I remember thinkingWas I didn't believe it was trueI just wanted to hear your voice againI wanted to be next to you But when I got there I foundMy worst nightmare had come trueThey told me you had passed awayAll I wanted was YOU I fell to the ground that momentIt seemed I could not breatheI looked around in confusionIt was too much to believe It was hard to remember everythingMost of my memory I lackI know I just kept repeating over and overI want my big brother back But that will never happenI'll never see you againI can never call to see whets upI have lost my best friend We use to hang out all the timeWe would talk about everythingEven if it was just me and youWe'd have fun doing anything You cared about me so muchAnd I cared just the sameYou were always there to watch my backYou protected me from all that came But lately you had made me madYour habits got in our wayIt frustrated me so muchI told you, it would kill you some day I cried and cried on your shoulder to stopYou told me everything would be okIn my heart I knew it wouldn'tBut I still let you go on your way I'm sorry I didn't do moreYou were lost without a wayI didn't hear your cries for helpI'm sorry it's now too late The days following your death were hardAt night I'd cry myself to sleepWhen I woke I hoped it all to be a dreamThen the truth would make me weep All at the same timeI felt scared to be aloneI felt anger for your selfish actsAnd sadness always shownDays have now past And I sit at your graveMy eyes are dry with no tearsMy broken heart is numb with no feelingDeath now brings me no fears I know now that you are at peaceAnd now watch over me from aboveSome day we shall meet againTill then I send my love I will miss you always,Your little sister,KatieTo any one that might read this I have just one thing to say; cherish every moment you have with those closest. You don't know when they'll be taken away


This Memorial was created to commemorate a loved one's life and to let other families know they can turn to the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids for help when struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page to increase awareness of substance use disorders and to provide hope and healing for others.

Guest Book

Comments

1. Alex Vulitsky
Katie, The same thing happened with to son Gene on 12/13/2008, just 1.5 month ago. I am reading your poem like a story about my Gene, he also left a little sister who is only 10. She found him in the morning. A week later she wrote a song. I??ll place it later on his memorial. My son was the same age as your brother. I know what you feel and I know what you are going through. Nick- Rest In Peace. I wish you the best. Sincerily, Alex
2. Debbie Kasch
Katie, thank you for the beautiful poem. I lost my only daughter and best friend almost 4 years ago at the age of 28 to a Vicodin overdose. Your poem speaks what is in my heart. You and your family will be in my prayers. (mom of Danielle Alton Charriere)
3. Elaine Davidsmama
Katie, Thank you for the beautiful poem. You managed to put into those beautiful words all the things we have wondered and thought about and cried about. Nick was a very lucky young man to have you for a sister and I'm sure he knew it. Your words are sweet and touching and show a great understanding for how fragile and precious life is. We miss Nick, too. www.myspace.com/atbettyshouse Stop by and let's visit
4. Angela Gwynn Mother Of Dallas Nguyen
Katie. This is a beautiful gift not only to Nick but for all these young beautiful lives lost in addiction. I give my deepest regrets to you and your family for losing Nick. I hope you never stop writing about Nick and about your journey. Love and Peace...
5. Theresa Basting
Katie, thank you for sharing your poem. I wonder the same tihings about the last moments of my son's life. He also left behind a little sister and an older brother. Your brother loved you and will always be with you. My son Jason died March 5th 2008. God's peace be with you and your family.
6. John Kelly
Katie, What a beautiful and touching poem. It rings so true on the emotions that are felt when we lose our loved ones to their addictions. I will pray as always for Nick, my son Sean and all the people in the world in hopes that they will find the power to seek help and end this senseless loss of young lives. Peace and God bless.