My son had a lot happen to him in the past two years. My husband of twenty-three years walked out on us in July of 2006. At that time, Christopher had the stability of a home in the suburbs with a lot of friends. He skateboarded regularly and was always happy. He had a stable family home, and then his dad drops this bombshell that he is not happy. Our home was sold and we had to move across the boulevard from our neighborhood into an apartment. Christopher distanced himself from his friends. This is when he started buying cough syrup from the store around the corner. I tried to stop this from happening, but someone in the family would always give him a few bucks. Unfortunately, the apartment complex I moved into was too expensive so I moved to be closer to my mother in another small town. Christopher hated it from the start. I was still receiving my normal amount in child support but was jobless due to back trouble and the fact that I am bipolar. Christopher was also bipolar, and he attended regular sessions with a therapist. When we first moved in our apartment, I went with a friend to look for a job. That afternoon I went to eat with some friends; it was very seldom we got to go out to eat, so I took her up on it. I had tried to call home and received no answer; I figured Chris was on the computer. After we were done eating, I had brought a plate of food home for Christopher. When I arrived I found him on the floor. His hands and lips were blue. I called 911. Christopher had taken four Hydrocodone. What he did not know was that my doctor had doubled the strength. I got him through this with rehab and got him back home. I couldn't get him to go to this new school, so we home schooled. Everything seemed to be going ok. I was keeping all my meds at my mother's house down the street. Then one day we received a call from the Hospital regarding Christopher's brother. I have 2 sons. Michael who is 24 and Christopher who is 16. Michael was helping a friend excavate a lot with no insurance and the guy driving the backhoe went backward instead of forward. Michael was standing behind him chain sawing limbs off a downed tree and his left leg was run over. When we got to the Hospital, the Doctor came in and said he would have to cut off his left leg from above the knee down. Christopher started screaming "No don't take my brothers leg". He loved his brother and looked up to him. Before it was all over with, they had to take another 4 inches. Michael is now struggling to receive any financial help he can get. Who would ever know that in June I would loose my baby? Michael never stayed home, so it was always just me and Christopher. The night Christopher died we had run down the street to get my meds for the following day. I went to take a bath and instead of locking them up, I hid them in the closet. It really didn't matter either way because he had found the key and gotten his meds out before. I didn't know this until the next day after he was gone. I went to bed around midnight and went into the living room to check on Christopher. He had made himself some toast and had it laid out on the coffee table. He had eaten 2 pieces and had appeared to have gone to sleep. I had given him an over-the-counter sleeping pill because I had a doctor's appointment the next day and he was going to my driver. Christopher appeared to be asleep. I laid him down in front of the couch, got his pillow and blanket and tucked him in. I told him Mom can't carry you to your bed so I'll just make you a place to sleep here. For some reason, that night I woke up every 2 hours. Once at 2am, and I checked to make sure he was covered up. Then I woke up again at 4am, and I checked on him again. Then at 6 am his face was cold, so I adjusted the air. At 8 am, I tried to wake him up and he wouldn't respond. If I only had knew how to take a pulse, I might have caught this. I've been to Bridgeway over depression, and my bipolar disease is not helping. I have beaten myself up over this. I lost my wonderful son. I am alone in this world now and I am staying with my mother. My other son is gone most of the time. As far as income, my husband has been court ordered to pay temp spousal support. This allows for meds and car payment. I think we should think about the impact leaving someone after 23 years can have such on a child's life. I sure would have thought twice. Christopher was a wonderful person, a very good skateboarder, and very smart. You could have conversations with him about anything. I miss that so much. We kept each other entertained. His cats miss him. Bubba misses him the most. There's nothing more for me to do but go on alone. I will never forget my baby. He now is looking down on me and I look forward to when it's my time to be with him.