Donnie and I were significant others for almost 14 years when he committed suicide in 2008. He had some medical issues to deal with, most of them being mental issues, that helped to contribute to his death. But the main cause of his death was his drug and alcohol use. He considered me his anchor that helped keep him alive, but I was no help since I had a drug and alcohol problem as well. How could I help him if I could not help myself? I ended up using more drugs and alcohol to numb myself from the pain of losing him, and it almost killed me. The pain of losing him still hurts today, but there is nothing I can do to bring him back. He is no longer suffering. I had to move on without him, but he will always be a part of me. I will never stop loving him. He was a big man with a big heart that was full of love.