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In memory of Jesse Killoran

Created by Family Of Jesse Killoran

Jesse Killoran

The following is a speech given by Christian Killoranonat the funeral for Jesse Killoran On behalf of my family and Kerry, let me begin by saying “thank you” for coming. You know, ironically wakes and funerals and so forth are really not for those of us who have passed. They are for all of us who continue to live, as they enable us to grieve our loved ones' passing amidst the necessary love and support of one another. And so, as this gathering is really for all of us who continue to live, I think it best honors Jesse's memory to reflect upon his life and hopefully learn a few lessons that will help enrich our lives as we move forward. And I think indeed there are a few lessons to be learned from Jesse's passing. The first is obviously that his passing illustrates just how short life really is. Jesse passed at the young age of 28, and in many ways left a life unfulfilled. And so I'd like to direct my first comment to anyone who is here tonight struggling with addiction. Take a good look at my brother because this is where you are headed unless you find the personal will and the grace of God to choose a different path. All of us need to realize just how short life can be and so we need to strive to embrace and appreciate lives every moment. As they say, “don't sweat the small stuff”; let's all try to love each other a little deeper; let's all strive to enjoy life to the fullest, but at the same time respect it for what it is – a gift. Fortunately, although Jesse's life was cut tragically short, I'm happy that he did get to enjoy many of life's greatest pleasures. He enjoyed friendship; he lived to find love; he enjoyed seeing a good part of the world; he lived to see the birth of his nieces and nephews, and perhaps most importantly, he lived long enough to attempt to re-join the “family” that he had been absent from for so long. A second lesson is the opportunity for which his life afforded all of us to witness the true meaning of unconditional love. This lesson was afforded to us all, perhaps unwilling, by my parents. Jesse struggled with addiction virtually his entire life. During this time, he displayed incredible acts of selfishness and depravity that tested everyone around him. And yet, throughout it all, throughout all of the tumultuous times, my parents' love for him never wavered. I was often too weak to forgive him, but my parents always did. And they were right. Mom and Dad, your love for Jesse is the greatest testament to the highest ideal of all – love. Don't be disappointed in him, it's not that he wanted to leave us, he just couldn't stay. So, thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you for showing us all how to live. Without a doubt, Jesse passed knowing that you loved him, and that was the greatest gift you could ever have given him. Lastly, I would like to comment upon the lesson of faith. What comforts me the most is my firm belief that Jesse has gone to a better place. A place where he is no longer tormented by the demons that tortured him throughout his entire life. He is now with God and with all of his loved ones that passed before him. He is now with his grandparents, and Aunt Lorraine, and Aunt Marcia, and everyone who went before him. And so everyone, please take comfort in this belief and allow yourselves to embrace your own personal relationship with God. We're all going to the same place; and Jesse, I pray that you rest in peace until the day that I see you again. I love you. We all love you.

Partners for Hope raise critical funds on behalf Partnership to End Addiction – the nation’s leading organization dedicated to addiction prevention, treatment and recovery. Every dollar raised on behalf of the Partnership* will help ensure free, personalized family support resources, including our national helpline, peer-to-peer parent coaching, customized online tools and community education programs, can reach those who need them most. Please consider donating to this fundraiser and sharing this page.

*Donations made to Partnership to End Addiction are tax deductible to the extent allowed by law. All contributions are fully tax-deductible, as no goods or services are provided in consideration in whole, or in part, of any contribution to this nonprofit organization.  EIN: 52-1736502

Guest Book


1. Megan Fedorenchik
Jesse was the brother I never had. We grew up down the street from each other and spent endless days climbing trees and riding bikes. The memories Jesse gave me will never be forgotten. I mourned the loss of the childhood Jesse I knew. Once he started to experience problems with addiction; all I could do was pray for him every day. I celebrate the gifts Jesse gave to everyone through the course of his life. His contagious smile, witty laugh, endless energy, & spirit are how I am at peace now
2. Nancy Carey
Your tribute was so touching I had to respond. As a recovering addict myself, I can assure you Jesse is no longer stuck in the gates of hell, the gates of heaven have welcomed him with open arms. May God Bless You until the beautiful day you are reunited!!!
I hope Jess has found peace. My son also struggles with drug addiction. TO see them in so much pain everyday is agonizing. I pray for Aunt Donna, Uncle Jim, Christian, Terrie and Carrie. I love you all.
4. Theresa Basting Jason's Mom
Thank you for saying the things I feel about my son. God's peace be with you.
5. Sally Tavitian Botte
Jesse was a good friend of my son. I have known him since the young age of 12. He spent many nights at my house. He didn't always make the right choice but he had a good heart. My heart goes out to his family. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk, laugh and/or cry of memories of Jesse. I know he is in heaven, trying to make a deal with God. We love and miss you very much. Until we met again...
6. Scott Harrigan
Christian: What a wonderful tribute to your beloved brother and your family that loved him so. May God grant you and your family the comfort and assurance that Jesse is well, at peace and waiting in Heaven to see you all again.
7. Lorie Halstead
One of the proudest moments for me was the day you were Christian. I am so proud to be your Godmother. When I think of Jesse I think of your beautiful face, the twinkle in your eye and that gorgeous smile. I find comfort knowing my mom ran to meet you and embraced you with her loving arms. May god Bless my family who I love so dearly.
8. Lorie Halstead
I want to convey deepest heartfelt sympathy to my dearest family. I am deeply saddened for the lost of my godson Jesse. What saddens me the most is the how busy our lives get which does not give us the opportunity to see the people we would like to see more often. I am sorry I did not get to hug or kiss you.
9. Keri Cooney
cont-... I hope that I will never do anyting apart from that desire and I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.+++ T. Merton- Thoughts in Solitude.
10. Keri Cooney
One of Jesse's mentors sent me a prayer by Thomas Merton, which was one of Jesse's favorites: My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I can not know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. Cont'd...
11. Katelin Mallen
Jesse - I miss you. Even more than I have missed you these past years when you were with us but not really with us. In our hearts and always in our prayers. You recently told me that you worried the family might not welcome you back with open arms. And I said "Are you kidding? The Smiths?!" I told you that was the last thing you should worry about. You agreed and said that we belonged to the best family ever and I told you you were a very important part of it. Jesse, you always will be
12. Bethany Heinesh
What a beautiful tribute. I am an addict now in recovery and have always wanted to come to this website. I had no idea there would be a tribute section for those we have lost to what I believe are the forces of darkness at work in our world. I needed to read the words written by Jesse's sister-thank you. I feel tormented by my own addiction. I have been in and out of recovery half my life. I am still fighting, but I am tired. May you feel God's comfort you as you heal from your loss.
13. Donna Spencer
Cont'd... My heart goes out to Aunt Donna, Uncle Jimmy, Christian. My heart, of course, also goes out to Terrie, Carrie, Bucky and Keri. I love you all. Donna S.
14. Donna Spencer
I feel that any minute you will be walking in the door here at the office and asking me for something - or making a few phone calls or even driving me crazy, as usual - but with all your problems you always had a big heart and a charm about you and a smile on your face. My heart is broken that you had to leave us this way, but I know you are sleeping peacefully. I will always love you and I will miss you forever. From your cousin, Donna. Cont'd...
15. M S
Wish I could have said goodbye. My prayers are with his family.