Teams and Walkers

Select A Team:

Donate Login
Edit in profile section

In memory of Marc Frank Lewis

Created by Family Of Marc Frank Lewis

Marc Frank Lewis

My beautiful son Marc died from an overdose of methadone and valium on May 2, 2000 He was 18 years old. Our lives were changed forever on that day.

In 1995 I had my third child, a girl, Victoria, we fell madly in love with her as soon as she was born, as I did with each of my children.  I had been married to my second husband four years and this was our first child together.  My two older children Marc and Claudia (then 14 and 12) thought of my husband as their dad.  He was great with them, very involved with their activities, came to school functions, we were involved in our church, he encouraged and attended their sports and music lessons.  I really thought, life can’t be any better than this, until I found a marijuana joint in my son’s backpack.

It was mind-numbing and disappointing and immediately I asked myself, “Where did I go wrong?” We sat down together, all of us and discussed it.  I was honest with my son about my own experimentation with pot as a teenager. And since I had personally seen the effect of drug addiction on my brother and what it did to our family, I shared that too. My brother went from experimenting with drugs to drug and alcohol abuse. This lead to him contracting AIDS and paying the ultimate price -- his life. He died at age 32.

Marc was very creative. He won awards for his artwork starting from fourth grade when his uncle (also an artist) bought him an airbrush and compressor.  Wow, the work he created.

Once when he was 12, we were at a yard sale and he wanted this old broken electric guitar so badly that I let him buy it for a dollar.  Over the next three years he brought life back to that guitar and taught himself how to play.

He was a natural talent at any type of sport he tried.  He played soccer from about 4 years old as well as baseball, basketball and football.  He could put together and take apart a bicycle or skateboard in about five minutes.  All his friends used to bring their bikes to him to fix and modify.

He was definitely an outdoors kind of person, We would spend hours at the beach riding waves, body surfing and building forts, yet he was just as content to be hiking, camping and fishing at the campgrounds.

He had a deep love and devotion to his family, many aunts, uncles and cousins.  As the oldest grandchild on my side of the family, he took that responsibility seriously.  He was charismatic and fun to talk to. He had an easy laugh and a beautiful smile.

Unfortunately, like so many other stories, Marc’s use soon became abuse and addiction. It is torture to watch your child go from this admirable person to someone you wouldn't want your kid hanging out with! So many people told me “Don't worry, Marc is a good kid, he’s just being a teenager, you're going to laugh about this one day.” Yet my response was, “Yes, Marc is a good kid -- a good kid with a drug problem.” After all, don't they all start off that way?

First I took him for counseling, then we went to family counseling and ultimately Marc went to Daytop Village, an adolescent facility.  It was then that I became a member of Daytop Family Association, where I found people who understood what WE as a FAMILY were going through.  My son and I and his siblings recovered together.  I remain in touch and active with my Daytop Family to this day.

His last year of life was a struggle, and he did see the hope and promise of recovery. After he completed Daytop Village, he moved to New Jersey to live with his biological dad with whom he had reconnected. He had a good job and made friends easily.

We spoke on the phone several times a week and emailed daily, him updating me about his job and me updating him on his siblings.  By 2000, Marc’s sister Claudia was 16, Victoria was 5 and James was 3, so there was always some story or accomplishment to share.

Marc came for a visit April 29 and 30, 2000.  We all had a great time.  We cooked, ate, played, joked around, reminisced, sang and Marc played guitar.  I will always remain incredibly grateful for that weekend.

Then, Tuesday May 2, 2000, I was given the news that Marc had overdosed.  Our lives were forever changed.

After losing Marc, I decided I wanted do everything I could to help others who have been touched by this horrible disease.

I speak frequently about my experience.  I have joined every group, coalition and organization aimed to educate and provide help to parents and teens. I have advocated alongside other families who have been impacted by the current medicine abuse epidemic (www.medicineabuseproject.org). I am a proud family member of Families In Support of Treatment as well as Long Island Recovery Association. In addition, I started a support group for families and friends who have a loved one struggling with substance use disorder.

I want to help other families understand these seven things:

Parents need to start talking with their children about drugs and alcohol at an early age -- and continue having the discussions with them.  It is not a one-and-done issue.  This issue evolves with your child and their environment.
Listen to them, don’t just talk to them.
Not everyone who drinks or smokes pot will suffer from the disease of addiction.  But everyone who suffers from addiction started with drinking or smoking pot or both.
Do not feel ashamed. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it. Take care of yourself.
Seek help, don’t be afraid to talk with people about what you are going through. You will be amazed at how many people have a loved one who is also suffering. Find a support group or call the Partnership toll-free helpline at 1-855-DRUGFREE.
It is not just the person suffering who needs support, but all who love him or her are impacted by the disease and the destruction and chaos it causes.
The insurance companies, doctors, politicians and society at large cannot keep believing that it is the person’s “choice” to continue to use. We need to educate ourselves and our communities about the disease so that we are better equipped to help others understand this.

Marc’s death has changed all of our lives but with love, understanding and time it has given us strength.


This Memorial was created to commemorate a loved one's life and to let other families know they can turn to the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids for help when struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page to increase awareness of substance use disorders and to provide hope and healing for others.

Guest Book

Comments

1. Pat - Psychotherapist & Partnership Parent Coach
Hi Vera1, Your son sounds like a wonderful and talented boy. Although it's up to him to stop, you can influence him with your love. I know parents who meet their children for a bite to eat just to check in and see if they are okay and to keep the lines of communication open so that when he decides he needs help, you are there. I know of other parents who have called the police on their kids to get them arrested so that they have a probation officer and some chance at being forced to get treatment. It's not a great option, but sometimes it's a good tool to use. If you'd like to put together a plan, please call the Partnership's helpline at 1-855-DRUGFREE and speak with one of our specialists. She can help you figure out a plan and point you to resources including a parent coach that might be helpful to you. There is no fee for this service. Give us a call, Pat
2. Vera1
Thank you for tell this story. I'm so sorry for your son. I have same problems with my 18th old son. He also a kind boy. He speaks 3 languages, play guitar, piano. My son can die. I feel it. He has heart problem, but continue use drugs for 4 years. He stop going to school. He sleeps at street. He wont go to inpatient treatment. I don't know what can I do? How can I help him to alive? How can I stop his addiction? Why police cant take him and bring to inpatient treatment? I don't know what can I do.
3. Desiree
Thank you for sharing your story. I was scanning different websites trying to find some kind of help to overcome my grief. The 7 things you pointed out which you wanted families to understand was very helpful. My son, Joshua, passed away of a herion overdose, he was 25 years old. He was my first born and will always hold a special place in my heart. This is the hardest thing I have ever went through in my entire life. I had to make decisions no mother should ever have to make for her child. I am always hopeful it will get easier but nothing will ever fill the void. Thanks again for sharing your expierince.
4. Julie
Claudia. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story and for your dedication to helping other parents and families.
5. Aliyya
Your writing is moving and inspiring, sending peace, love and best wishes your way.