Clint was such a sweet, happy and confident person. He was creative, compassionate and charming, but then things started to change. Our son was a friend to everyone. Clint started his drug abuse in high school and things began to change. As Charles Dickens said, “It was the best of time and the worse of time.” Our lives became filled with confusion, lies, mistrust and chaos. He slowly gave up his dreams and future. Our sweet son seemed to be slipping away. Sometimes it seemed as though Clint's foot was stuck on the accelerator with a faulty braking system. During those times, we were beside ourselves with worry. Drugs robbed us of our joy and fun. Clint was diagnosed with bipolar disorder also known as manic-depressive disorder. Substance abuse can sometimes trigger mental health issues, if there is a biological or genetic vulnerability. Once he began treatment, we all expected to work our way through this and have back the person we knew before. At one point during treatment, Clint and I discussed his overcoming the drug addiction and being an example to other young people. Although, he was not able to accomplish this while he was alive maybe that can become a part of his legacy. Clint was a free spirit and we loved him each step of the way. He had gone through another tough time, but it seemed he was getting back on his feet. The doctor had changed his medication and Clint had commented to me that he believed the new medication was really helping him. With all of my heart, I wanted to believe those words. But then our beautiful son died of an overdose of fentanyl at the age of 20 years old. We believe the measure of one's life is more than the way in which they died. In the big picture, these problems were just a small part of a dear and precious life. So many people loved him. Although, I think at times his struggles kept him from receiving all the love offered to him. We are left with so much love for him in our hearts, and so many unanswered questions. What did we miss and when did we miss it? Where did normal adolescence changes stop and the serious problems start? At no time, not even in the depth of the hard times, did we ever imagine this outcome. We were blessed to have shared a wonderful childhood with Clint and to have had 20 years together. But, our beloved son and brother left us too soon. We miss his big hugs and bright smiles so much. We miss his singing, his whistling, his laughs, and the smell of his favorite cologne. We also miss the joyous moments he brought to the family. We still look for him to come walking through the door, instead he walks through our hearts. One always knew when Clint was in the room. We miss the way he filled a room and filled the house. Edna St. Vincent Millary wrote, "The presence of that absence is everywhere." This is very true for us also. Drug abuse doesn't just affect the user; it affects the lives of everyone that loves them. Drugs lie. Please don't give your power and future away to them. It would touch our hearts if you would take the time to visit Clint's site at www.clint-reagan.memory-of.com.
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