My son turned 20 on December 4th and passed away from the overdose on December 13th. Never in a million years could I imagine it could happen to him. He was never a troubled kid, good student and a very loving and caring person. He had a sparkling personality and could charm anybody, kid or adult within minutes. My son... Where to begin? From the birth he was always an easy child. Even as an infant he was always happy, smiling, and boy, did he have laughter! His laugh was contagious. I always thought that they forgot to cut the umbilical cord between us because we were that close. He was always hugging and kissing me a hundred times a day. We are a family of Russian immigrants and we wanted to come to this country to give our son a better future. In middle school he was the class clown, an honor student and an extremely popular boy. He made friends easily and I thought he made the right choices in choosing friends. His trouble with marijuana started during his senior year of High School. His grades started slipping and he would get moody and depressed. At that time, my husband and I were divorced and we forced Gene to go to live with his Dad in order to straighten him out. It seemed to work. Gene had graduated from High School and was accepted into Florida State University. Gene and I were always talking about the dangers of smoking weed. I was telling him that this habit may escalate into more dangerous drug abuse. He swore to me that he was not into drugs. I wanted to believe him. NEVER believe your kids- I learned that the hard way. He went to Tallahassee to FSU and that was the beginning of the end. Drugs (recreational, prescription, etc.) had become a normal part of his life. He was a popular kid and was invited to a lot of parties where he had an easy access to alcohol and pills. I think he wanted to change this life, he wanted "to better" himself. He decided to transfer to the University in our home town and live home. He was SO HAPPY that he would be living at home again, that was all he was talking about the last month. Finally, he moved his belongings home on Friday, December 12th. We were elated to have him home! Before going to see his friends he had not seen for a while he said to me, “Bye, Mom, I love you”. The next morning I found him on a bathroom floor, dead. I am hurting so much. I am blaming myself for not educating myself about how to recognize pill abuse. I am blaming myself for not getting up earlier to check up on him. I am blaming myself for not saving him. Somebody HAD to save my son - it is impossible that he is GONE forever, that I will NEVER be able to hug him again, to smell him, to lay down with him. GOD, he was only 20 years old! I LOVE you, my dearest, my sunny boy, I miss you terribly.
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