How does onego through life withouttheir best friend and baby boy? Here I am almost 4 years after Tyler's death. I don't know how I have made it this far without him. Thisis theworst thing that could ever happen to a parent. Tyler didn't know sniffing just a tiny bit of gasoline could kill him. I never knew any of this until I lostthe sweetestperson in life, my son Tyler. To any kids out there there sniffing gasoline, please take note: It can kill you! If you are taking A.D.D. meds, your chances of dying from this double! Please stop! This is too much for any parent to handle. Even if you think your parents are mad at you about something like school or bad bahavior, please don't turn to this. As parents, we get disappointed, but still love you and we forget about all the bad things because our love is unconditional.You kids have good things to look foward to - don't do anything to risk that. There is no greater gift than a child. Tyler was a great loving young man and put up with a lot of bull**it from me - his mom. We also had a lot of fun and he got to do things some kids never get to do - even driving his mom's car at age 14 - with me as a co-pilot. He never met a stranger and always gave them a big smile and hug. He drew and wrote stories and had dreams of being a designer of 4-wheel drive and off-road vehicles. He was also always looking out for mom. I was sick for a while but he was always there for me. I have to live without him now and it feels EMPTY. I try to work myself to death and do things he never got to do, such as deer-hunting. I feel he still lives through me - but I should be gone and he should be here. I ask GOD all the time - "Why him? Why not me instead?"All of my questions will be answered one day, but the emptiness will never go away. To Tyler: Miss you son. You were the most important thing in my life. I don't know how to live and be right without you. I am sorry I got angry at times - that's a parent thing. If I didn't care, I never would have. I miss you so much - I pray and know God is holding my sweet baby that used to kiss me good night each night and tell me he loves me as I would tell him. I pray that I see your sweet soul again one day. I miss you soooo much. Your mama, Michel
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