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In memory of John Dustin Hilderbrand

Created by Family Of John Dustin Hilderbrand
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John Dustin Hilderbrand

My son was the most beautiful child. He had big brown eyes and a smile that would light up a room. He loved to make everyone laugh. He was a very outgoing person. If John could not touch your heart, it is because you did not have one. He was my whole world. My heart beat, my oxygen, my best friend and now he is gone.My baby is gone because of drinking and pills. The drugs altered his mind to a state in which he did not know what he was saying or doing. My baby died in my arms. I feel that I have been left all alone. I can not even hear or feel my heart beat anymore. I can not remember things, and I do not know what I am doing half the time. I just know that I want to be with my child in heaven. I think all teenagers need to wake up and stop being selfish. Think about the ones you leave behind.



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Guest Book

Comments

1. Anonymous
I am really sorry ma'am, I don't no why but last days I felt interested by the story behind suicides, maybe because I tried .. and now reading your words I can not imagine your pain and the empty inside oneself :( really feel sad ... I share your pain
2. MAMA DAWN
Hello Sweet Boy. I miss you and wish, just like every other day, that I could see you and talk to you just one last time. I would tell you how much I love you and how I do not want you to go and leave me. Son, my heart still aches everyday and it has been 1 year and 1 week. I still hurt just as much. Baby, Mama misses you so much. I can't wait for the day we can be together again. It is going to be a joyous moment. I've cried a billion tears for you. I love you!!!
3. MAMA DAWN
Hello Sweet Boy! I love you and sorry I have been kind of mad at you, but son this is so hard for me. I still can not make myself believe it is real abd that you left me. I feel so all alone in this world without you. Oh, how I muss you so much. Please buddy, let me see you just once more. I want to hold you like a little boy is held by his mother. But, I do hope you are flying freely and at peace. Juse don't leave me here too long OK, I love you, I love you so much and miss you as much.
4. Liliana Spasic
John Dustin, I miss you and I always will. I am not going to worry about you because I know that you are in a way better place now than you were before. I hope you have a better life where ever you are now. Everyone misses you and hopes to see you again someday. Just make sure that we can find you. We love you. Don't you ever forget that! To all those who knew John Dustin better than I did, I am very sorry and I hope you all will be able to move on enough to have a better life.
5. MAMA DAWN
Hey Buddy. Sure do miss you. John-Dustin, I'm still not sure why all this is going on, but it is not any easier son. I'm still waiting for you to come to me. I's still ready to come be with you. The world is getting so bad and scary. I love you so much babys so so much. I know you are happier and I am trying to except that but it is really hard. It has been eight months,1 week, 4 days since I last heard your voice, saw your smile, smelled your smell and looked into those pretty eyes. I love you!
6. MAMA DAWN
Hello Sweet Boy- Well it is going to be a year in a couple of weeks and I am scared to death. So baby what I need from you is to help me through this and give me some strength. John-Dustin, Mama still loves you so much. Please don't let God leave me here for long I can't stand this, not being able to see you. I love you baby and miss you so much more, don't you ever forget that. Love you so much!!!
7. MAMA DAWN
Hey my pretty boy. I sure do miss you alot. I dreamed about you last night and it was really weird. I asked you to talk to me and tell me what it means, but you didn't. But, that is okay. Well, I am going to movr all your things in a tub and put them in my closet so Evie can have a room of her own. That's okay isn't it? It doesn't mean I am forgetting you, because I could never do that. You are my baby, my sweet little baby boy and I love you sooooo much. Watch ove us, okay. Love you!!!
8. MAMA DAWN
Hey sweet boy. I love you baby and sure do miss you alot. You are still my pretty boy. I widh I could see you and hold you and love on you. Baby, I hope you are having the time of your life mama's little wee man. I love you pretty boy!!!
9. MAMA DAWN
Hello my precious baby boy! Mama is missing you pretty badly and I sure wish I could see you. You are on my mind, I can see those big pretty brown eyes and they are melting my heart. I love you so much baby, so much. John-Dustin, do you heasr mama talking to you all the time, because I do but I never get an answer back. I guess I can't hear you. Please wee man, help mama out. Oh how I wish you were here with me, I would hold you so tight and never let you go. I still haven't let you go.
10. Stephanie Tate
Hello, I grew up with John Dustin and I miss him soo much. In the 4th grade, John and I got into so much trouble. We would throw things at the teacher and all the other kids. When we had pictures taken, he would always act up in line and get me in trouble along with him. I miss getting in trouble with him. He was my buddie and I haven't gotten in trouble since. But it's been really hard trying to get over him. I just take it one day at a time and when i think about him I just smile.
11. MAMA DAWN
Hi Sweet Boy! I love you so much and miss you even more. I need to know you are ok baby, please let me know. You know how I worry & freak out. I am not happy with my life. I don't know what to do with my life or who I even am anymore. I don't see me every being happy again, it's all been ripped away. I can't believe you did what you did & I don't quite understand why you really did it. It really pains me to know that you were that unhappy & I didn't even know. I want to fix it, but c
12. MAMA DAWN
HEY BUDDY!I SURE DO MISS U.BABY,I'M NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY. I WANT YOU HERE W/ME OR ME W/U.I FEEL SO QUILTY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HELP U OR EVEN BEING A BETTER MOM.JOHN-DUSTIN I'M SO SORRY.BABY PLEASE HELP ME,I DON'T LIKE THIS PAIN.I HATE WHEN I HAVE A GOOD DAY B/C THEN I HAVE A BAD NIGHT.I MISS U SO MUCH, U JUST DON'T KNOW.I LOVE U SO MUCH, I JUST WANTA HUG U & KISS ON U SO BAD & TO HEAR U'RE VOICE WOULD BE WONDERFUL OH U JUST DON'T KONW.WHY U, WHY DID THEY TAKE U BUDDY, WHY DID U ALLOW
13. MAMA DAWN
Hey baby, son I miss you so much. So, did you like your birthday party? Your daddy and I thought it turned out really good. Baby, I just can't believe you are gone and not coming back. I love you and miss you so much. I wish I could wrap my arms around you right now. I still can't believe you left me behind. John Dustin- didn't you know how much I love you? Everyone says you did, but obviousely you didn't believe it. I have a big empty scape left or gone. I just don't know anymore. I love you.
14. Theresa Basting
Dawn, I understand your pain. My beautiful son Jason died of a heroin overdose March 5, 2008. The pain does not go away. He was my heart and now he is gone. Keep praying for God's peace, he will give it to you. Peace and love to you. Terri
15. MAMA DAWN
Hey sweet boy. I love you and miss you lots. Baby, I just want to hug and kiss you. John-Dustine, my heart is aching for you so bad. This is total misery. Oh, how I want you back and it will never happen. It really doesn not need to because you are better off. But, I still can not see my life without you. It is like I am just here. I want to be with you so bad and you still havent talked to me or anything. Oh, how I love you so muchl. I need you buddy. Tell mama something. I love you.
16. MAMA DAWN
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear John-Dustin, happy birthday to you!!! I love you baby & wish you were here with me. I love and you miss you lots and lots. It is going to be a hard day and there is nothing I can do to make it better. Everybody is missing you so much sweetheart. This is your day baby. Mama loves you!
17. MAMA DAWN
Hey baby, I love you and miss you really bad the last few days. John-Dustin, it is not getting any easier. Baby, please help me. God knows how much I love you and miss you!! I am so sorry you felt you needed to do this, but you didn't. You should see all the water at Johnny's, it is crazy but pretty amazing. You would like it. Do you think I am going to be ok baby? Because I am not sure. Your sister and I are doing better which is good. I love you so much pretty boy, so much!! Bye for now!
18. MAMA DAWN
Hi, sweet boy. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you alot today and I am pretty sad today. Oh, if I could just hug you and touch you one more time. I never will. John-Dustin, I feel like I am slowly dying inside. I need you so bad and yes I do need you. Please help me baby. We got your headstone, I think you are going to like it alot. We do. It is special, just like you. John-Dustin, I love you my pretty boy so much. Can you feel it, you used too. Love you baby!!!
19. Kristal Fisher
Dawn- As my friend, you have a very special place in heart. You have unconditional love for both of your kids. Hearing you speak of either one of them, if no one knew them, they would know that they were and always will be your joy and your happiness within your soul. I love you as a friend, and I will always be here for you. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Please allow God to strengthen and guide you. Everything else will happen in God timing. Love you, Kristal Fisher
20. MAMA DAWN
Hey sweetheart. I love you and miss you pretty boy. You are so missed baby. John-Dustin I think of you all the time and miss you all the time. I am still here for you, you know that don't you? I love you so much baby and wish I was with you. I need you to talk to me baby so bad, I want it. I want to hear you say mama, I have always loved hearing yousay that. Well, I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. I need to go back to work. Love you prettyboy.
21. Amanda Rebert
Hey boy!!! Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you! We miss you so much! Bryce talks about you so much he loved you SOOO MUCH! I love and miss you!!!
22. MAMA DAWN
Hey sweetheart, the days are not easier son and you still have not talked to me or come to me in my dreams. Baby, please help me. This hurts so bad and I miss you so much. It has been five weeks and three days of misery without you. I love you pretty boy and miss you so much.
23. Angela Gwynn Mother Of Dallas Nguyen
He WILL come to you. That I know. I cannot tell you where the easy part comes, when the sickness and pain will let go of you a little. Or when you can look back upon him with a smile instead of screams. I wish I could, I wish so much. Read my quote on Dallas' memorial. I believe it with my own soul. But the pain, will never go away all the way, or for good, never. I KNOW Dawn. I know. Contact me via The Grieving Room or at gwynn_a@msn.com Love to you Dawn.....
24. Jackie Cobb
Dawn, your mother and I are very good friends. I remember you from years ago. It broke my heart to hear your tragic news about John Dustin. Stay strong and hang onto Evie. I know your mother loves you very much and will be there to help you. I ask God's blessing upon you. Jackie
25. Stacy Truesdell
I met John Dustin when he was about 7 years old. He was so cute with his big brown eyes and always smiling. That's the way I still see him. Smiling, happy and loving his Mama and sister Evie so much that you could just see it. Remember the good times and hang on to each other- thats what John Dustin would want. Dawn, you know that I am here when you need me. You are in my prayers. I Love you. Stacy L. Truesdell
26. Sherry Barfield
Dawn, John Dustin was one of a kind. His heart was filled with laughter and his smile brought a smile to your face and warmth to your heart. I can still remember the first time I ever saw him. He looked like a little teddy bear with big checks and big brown eyes. Just wanted to pick him up and just squeeze him. :0) He saw no fear in life and hit it head on. He was a sweetheart and unreplaceable. You and Evie are in our thoughts and prayers. Sherry and Uncle Dale
27. Katrina Stilwell
John Dustin was the sweetest boy I have ever met. His smile could light a room. He will be deeply missed and will always be in our thoughts. Dawn- I think of you and Evie often. I know that this time is very hard for both of you and I am always thinking of you. I am here if you ever need anything. Love, Katrina
28. Angela Gwynn Mother Of Dallas Nguyen
Oh Dawn, I am sorry that you have lost John. I lost my other half too, my soulmate, my heart and soul Dallas, July 2007 of a heroin overdose. Half of me is still here, for reasons I can't explain, and half of me is in the other world with him. There are deep black days and days where you can function to an extent. But the pain doesn't go away. That is the reality. I think it is the beautiful ones who can't handle the cruelty of this world. I wish peace for all of us. Love from Seattle...
29. Karla Barfield
Dawn – I do not stop thinking about you, John Dustin and Evie. This pain is so incredibly deep, but I know time will ease it's grip and there will once again be light. You are not alone in this healing process, I will always be here for you. You are a beautiful person and I know John Dustin loved you immensely. My heart feels your hearts pain.. Karla
30. Wanda Perrier
John Dustin was a wonderful child. He was so funny; laughing and joking about everything. I have so many wonderful memories of him. Dawn, I know this is a difficult time for you. Please remember you are never alone. You have lots of family and friends who love you and are always available to you. I love you so much. Mama
31. DAMITA ELLIS
Dawn, I am always here and always praying. I love you and I know you will get your peace of mind back. Take a deep breath sweetie and let the Lord be you guide. You are a very special woman and you give strength to those areound you. In your mind you feel like you are losing it, but I am here to tell you that you are not lost. You have just begun to love and you will continue to live happily for years to come. I listen to you and your concern is how to keep other teenagers safe. Stay strong.
32. MAMA DAWN
Baby, it has been almost three weeks now and I still feel so empty without you. I love you and miss you so much and it hurts so bad. Please help mama through this, you've always helped me through everything else. I feel like you've left me alone here. But, I know you are in a better place with no worries or heartaches and I am happy for that pretty boy. I am sorry I didn't know you were troubled or whatever was going on in your head. I begged you that night not to leave me, did you hear me?
33. Elaine Davidsmama
I am so sorry to hear about your baby boy. Those of us on this site share a bond that few understand, and I wish we could have met under better circumstances. I know that feeling of your child being your oxygen and how we feel we cannot breath. I pray peace & comfort for you. I also pray for those using drugs and alcohol to be able to stop and the curse be broken off of them. Please go to my son's memorial profile & add yourself as a friend so we can keep in touch.
34. Darlene Birdsong
It's been 2 years since you left us. I think about you all the time, but I know that one day I will see your smiling face again. Love you lots, Aunt Darlene.
35. Stacy Truesdell
Happy 17 th Birthday John-Dustin!!!! We love you and miss you very much!!!! Keep a watch over your Mama and Evie.
36. MAMA DAWN
John-Dustin, Mama loves you baby!!! DOn't ever forget that. Fly baby, fly.