On December 13, 2010 as I was hanging out with a different crowd of people than normal and I decided to try meth for the first time. In my head I was thinking “I’ll only do it once”. That was a complete LIE but I did not know that at the time. Instantly, I was addicted. The addiction started off as smoking and snorting the drug. I dropped out of college, quit my job, and did not have a stable place to stay. I found out I was pregnant and yet I still continued to use and in fact I was also being part of manufacturing the drug as well. My dealer at the time told me the only way they would continue to supply me is if I start injecting the drug because it was a safer method than snorting or smoking. Just when I thought the drug couldn’t get any better, it did. Injecting meth is a whole different kind of high than snorting or smoking it. My addiction got even deeper and I became a dealer. I had my son in January 2012 and tried to get sober, but it didn’t last long at all and I really fell off the deep end. I finally came to terms that I wasn’t a fit mother and gave temporary guardianship to my mother for my child’s safety and well-being. At this point I was living on the streets, dealing large quantity of drugs in Southeast, MO and in the Rolla, MO area. I was part of home invasions, robberies, drug deals, and was even held up at gun point and molested. I found myself sitting in Phelps County Jail in Rolla, MO in August of 2013. The longest 24 hours of my life but the most eye opening as well. My call home to my mother ended in her telling me “I do not want to have to bring your son to visit you in prison like I had to take you to see your Dad”. Those words forever changed my life. From August to October of 2013 I struggled with getting clean until the day of October 1, 2013. I woke up that morning and realized it was time to change my life and get myself together. Since that day I have accomplished so many things and have so much to be thankful for. I got my rights back to my son, I completed an office administration certificate program, I landed my first “big girl” job, I got engaged and then married, I bought a house, and now I am currently pursuing my bachelors degree in Healthcare Management. I believe recovery is possible, I am living proof.
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