Free from Meth Addiction
I never thought I would use meth. I few years back before I had my son I was addicted to pills and was and still am on Suboxone for it. But last year my bf told me he wanted to try meth if I would try it with him. I thought about it for a day and wasn't planning on trying it but him and his friend kept asking me to do it so I gave in and did.
I knew from the start with my bfs history of drug use in the past that he would be completely hooked after the first time we tried it, we smoked it and I really didn't enjoy it too much. I worry alot and have anxiety and meth seemed to make it worse. I honestly can't say what it is that made me want to do it again.
Things went south fast for me and my bf it was depressing and having a child together, I knew I needed to quit for my child and I did. I only did meth for a few weeks and quit just like that. It wasn't easy because my bf chose to stay on it but just a few weeks later we ended up losing our home due to not being able to pay the bills.
I packed a few bags and took me and my son to my mother in laws to stay. With her help she got her son to get treatment but he only stayed clean for maybe a week and went right back to meth.
It was hard for me to stay clean knowing that he was using so I relapsed and did it for a few weeks and chose to quit it again, right after my bf was arrested for driving without a license and is still very addicted to meth.
I am so thankful to be clean and to have such a beautiful son, it hurts me so bad to see his father when he is still an addict. Its very hard but I'm choosing to start a new life with just me and my son. Its the best thing for everyone even though its extremely hard. I have known him for 13 years and love him so much. Seeing someone you love dying from an addiction is the hardest thing.
I hope and pray that he will one day want to be sober, I know right now he does not want to and as much as it hurts I have to distance myself from him for myself and our child. If he could just open his eyes and see how much his son loves him.
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