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Something Changed Dramatically

Created by Amanda Smith

Something Changed Dramatically

Hello, My name is Amanda. I have struggled with meth addiction since the age of 18. Because of this addiction I have spent every birthday incarcerated since I turned 18. I was an honor roll and presidential academic award student. I first used when I was 13 years old. The drug was adderall. I loved the loss of stress and gain in control. I didn't realize what I had started though.

At the age of 15 I had a heavy benzoid and opiate addiction. I had dropped out of school as well as lost many friends. I had overdosed three times. I experienced black outs, as well as loss of breath. I humiliated myself and my family. I also struggled with anorexia. Many people didn't know that I had been molested as a child and raped at the age of 15. I didn't tell anyone, for the simple fact I felt guilty, like I had deserved it.

At the age of 17, I was admitted to an inpatient treatment facility for the use of heroin. It was a 12-24 month program. I completed the program amazingly. I obtained 8 months of abstinence from drugs...then relapsed.

By 17 I was trialed as an adult and was sent to adult jail for 30 days for midnight of my 18th birthday. Continually, I was in jail for every birthday because of my continued use.

By 18 I became an IV user and things were never the same -- I was using with people I never imagined, doing things that were definitely out of my character. My step sister had to rush me to the ER because I had overdosed. I had been up for too long with a diet consisting mainly of Mountain Dew and Meth. I didn't realize how much this had affected her until this year (2014).

I am now 21 and I can say I am proud to be clean. I was admitted to yet another treatment facility. The program involved book work from Breaking Barriers. It really has changed my outlook on my life and on my goals. I also found my higher power. He was there for me when I knew many had given up. In all reality He was there all along. I found out while in this program that I have a fatal heart rhythm from my prolonged use of crystal meth. This has opened my eyes more than anything -- I am barely 21 and may need a pace maker in the future.

One thing I'd like to say, send a message if you will:

Addiction can happen to anyone; it destroys lives. It is a disease that is treatable but not curable.

I wouldn't be where I am in my sobriety without a higher power, NA, AA, ARP, and an ever-loving family.

Please be thankful for the life you have. It is the only one you get.

I am celebrating almost 90 days and I plan on continuing this journey.

Keep your head up! It gets better, one day at a time!


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

Guest Book

Comments

1. Ashley Stapleton
Thank you Amanda for your story! Its almost identical to mine. Ive been clean from meth for almost 7 months now and youre courageous for continuing sobriety. Your story helps me to not feel alone in this journey. Congratulations and God bless!
2. Cole
You are such a beautiful young woman, and you are important to someone, most especially to yourself. Stay strong, and don't let this thing get you down, or control you. You are in control of your life, live it one day at a time and find something that makes you happy every day, because life is such a gift. Don't waste another minute of yours.
3. Kate R
Congratulations Amanda I don't know u but I want to say I loved ur experience strength and hope and u will go far in life!! And also congratulation on 90days!!!
4. Jayme
Im addiction is also adderral & weed even weed adventually i became paranoid xietey weed didnt work adderral didnt work anymore took more of each im going crazy even im tired of this sh** my poor husband im so lucky he's great i need to change!!!
5. Julie
Thank you for sharing your story, Amanda. Congratulations on your recovery!