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Girlfriend of an addict

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Girlfriend of an addict

I am not an addict. ?I am the girlfriend to a recovering drug addict. ?My boyfriend and I started dating in college. And we had it all: friends, a place of our own, and freedom. ?Unfortunately, I was too blind to see that all of the freedom had got to my boyfriend's head. ?Like many he started with marijuana, and though he had experimented with it in the past, this was different. ?After marijuana it was pain killers. ?And after pain killers it was Xanax. ?And the entire time he was binge drinking. ?Like any girl in love, I excused it as "that's what your supposed to do in college" or "college kids make mistakes all the time"... but ALL that suddenly came to an end when I realized all of my money was missing and all of my super expensive jewelry was slowly disappearing. ?In addition, my boyfriend's roommates were losing money and wallets and jewelry as well...it wasn't until we were at the police station reporting my missing items that the police had found that it was my boyfriend stealing my things. ?He would steal my things and sell them to various pawn shops for cash. ?I WAS DEVASTATED! confused, lost, hurt, and miserable. ?Within a week he went to treatment and became the most amazing man that I know.

So my story is to all of the partners of drug addicts, be safe and be aware. ?If you need to keep your distance, it's for the best. ?But NEVER give up on a person! Be wise and be supportive because chances are, they need you more than you will ever realize. Forgiving is hard, but you will never forgive yourself if you do not give your partner support while they are going through treatment.


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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Comments

1. Jenn
Reading this sounded like reading the story of my life. Its nice to know I am not alone.
2. Aimee Stern
Thanks all for your comments. Parents who supply the alcohol are breaking the law, and showing there children they don't respect it. If there is underage drinking at your home and someone is injured, gets really sick or worst gets behind the wheel of car and gets into an accident, you are responsible. Saying no to that is the easy part, I think. The hard part, is knowing where to draw lines and how much you can and should trust your child. I had a conversation with a father recently who had raised five children and all of them had gone to college and had careers, despite some rough spots. When I asked him how he did it, he said "Just keep talking to them." I keep the wisdom of that with me all the time.
3. Lori
There are too many parents hosting alcohol driven parties; supplying the goods and allowing beer pong and other alcohol related activity to take place. The irresponsible parents are the ones who have their kids and friends at their homes while responsible parents are out in the cold; distanced from their kids and often not even knowing who their kid's friends are because none of them want to be at a home where alcohol is strictly prohibited. What a shame!
4. Suzy
What is the purpose of a co-ed sleep over unless you are preparing for risky behavior. I suspect if parents plan a co-ed sleep over its because they are planning on ALLOWING teens to drink and smoke and "whatever" even if it means they are supplying the party goods. There are several parents in my town that do this and its disturbing. How can parents guide their children safely when there are folks like this furnishing my (or your) teen with beer pong and spiked punches? Parents need to be just as responsible and accountable for bad choices, just as teens are when they are caught. Parents need to REPORT parents supporting such behavior.
5. EJsmom
oh this is something that i have to discuss with my husband... i have 2 kids, 1 boy 5yrs old and 1 girl 2 yrs old... sleep overs are still not in our dictionary now but it's good to prepare for that time :) if it's not too much to ask, please visit my site and it will really be encouraging to hear what you have to say... or rather, to read what you have to write. not to mention the wisdom you can share with my kiddos. thanks! http://alettertoej.wordpress.com/
6. Ed
This is the tactic my Mom always used. Kids were always welcome at our house and felt comfortable there. Boundaries were set and the law was laid down. The kids had fun and parents had less to worry about and they made it seem as if it was all our idea.
7. Tari
I agree with all you said, Aimee. We can set the rules, and they may find ways to break them, but it is less likely if there is a responsible adult around. I also appreciate the editor's note to talk to other parents who may be hosts. There are some who think drinking is OK as long as it's in their house. And there are some parents who will provide pot because they think it's safer than alcohol. I might not manage to stay awake all night, but I think I would try!