Begin again
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Begin again
My name is Jeanne and I am 22 years old. my story with addiction began in February 2010 and it started out like any other story does my best friend at the time snorted pills. blues the devil they became. After I snorted my first pill I met my future boyfriend and he did drugs too and soon we became just another couple who only could stand each other when we were high. there was a lot of cheating whether it was emotional cheating or the physical act of. and I started too get high on my own and with other people who had different methods of doing pills. and I rushed into using different methods too get high. Things with my relationship went even more downhill. and the physical abuse showed up in my life. and I kept spiraling downward until September 17th 2011 when I wrecked my car and nobody was there. And that was the day I lost my freedom to do what I want. when I could no longer run away life hit me in the face hard. Im facing jail for unpaid traffic fines. I was addicted too blues and I could no longer get away from the man who would fly off the handle at any second and lay his hands on me. the week I wrecked my car my grandparents came too get me and tried too get me too sign into rehab and I refused. The Thursday of the week of the seventeenth I called my daddy and told him if he would drive me and stayed with me?till he had too leave I would go. so on that Friday my dad and my mother came and got me and I got in the car and shut the door too that life and haven't turned around since. I made it through rehab and came back home too my parents house I had to go up in front of the judge and face my punishments. I paid my fines and I have too deal with the fact I don't get my license back till 2014 and I spent my first year sober climbing hills and mountains. you need too not give up and keep going with one foot in front of the other and I'm not ashamed of the fact I go to counseling still and I know I need too. but even when your at your lowest you have too never give up and keep on keepin on. be strong your not alone.
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Comments
1.
Lisa Frederiksen - BreakingTheCycles.com
Lisa Frederiksen - BreakingTheCycles.com
Hi Marial - there is certainly no "one way" to raise children through this stage in their lives, and certainly many parents agree with your approach and young people "making it through," so to speak, without long-term consequences as far as developing alcoholism (though many drinking behaviors along the way have long-term consequences not included in this discussion). What has changed, however, is the new brain research of just the past 10-15 years (possible due to advances in imaging technologies, such as fMRI and SPECT), that shows the brain until about 25 is not the brain of an adult and that the developmental processes occurring ages 12-25 make the brain more susceptible to alcohol. The links in #3 above provide more explanation as does this post -- especially the 10-year time-lapse brain study contained therein -- http://tiny.cc/aijkgw. Thank you so much for commenting -- it's very important that all sides of this issue be discussed and presented.
2.
Mike Smith
Mike Smith
Appreciate it for all your efforts that you have put in this. very interesting information.
3.
Gerald
Gerald
Your method might not be that effective if you were to face teens with an even worse behavior or attitude than your kid. At least you were able to discover that earlier, unlike other parent that discovered it late and their kids are already that alcoholic. If ever someone out there is in a very stressful condition concerning the alcoholism of their kids I think it would be best that you send them to a bootcamps for teens to be disciplined.
4.
Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen
Claire - this is such important information and especially helpful given your insights as a therapist working in this field -- thank you! SAMHSA has a great resource website, http://underagedrinking.samhsa.gov/, that parents can use to actually help them customize how they talk to their children at various ages of development.
5.
Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen
Thank you so much for your comment, Johnny. As you said, alcohol is not going to kill anyone if it's done responsibly. Teens, however, generally don't drink to sip or enjoy the flavor, they binge drink to get drunk and that's where the problem lies because the brain is not fully developed until ones early 20s, often not until 25. Instead, the brain is experiencing significant changes related to puberty, cerebral cortex development, and the pruning and strengthening process. Therefore, there could be long-term consequences, such as a negative impact on the memory center of the brain as a result of early alcohol misuse. Check out this article, "How Teens Become Alcoholics Before Age 21," http://tiny.cc/pyesf, to better understand this relatively new brain research and why alcohol is harmful to the teen brain in a way it is not harmful to the mature, adult brain.
6.
Claire
Claire
Thanks for your post Lisa. One thing I know as a therapist in the field is that we definitely want to avoid the power struggles with a teen! I have found that parents often don't take the time to notice whether they are being effective in their communication because it is so challenging. The new data about the effects of alcohol on the developing brain is a tremendous tool because it can be used as a conversation about life's lessons, actions and consequences. That in itself is more powerful than laying down the law and "stopping" them from drinking. But it takes some willingness not to be punitive and be present with some potentially uncomfortable conversations. And to Johnny, I would say that no one ever thinks anything bad will happen to them, just those other people out there. That's a human fallibility - the facts are there but we don't listen! It's a parents responsibility to help their kids see that their choices have consequences. With Love of course!
7.
Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen
Thanks for your comment, Zachary. It's wonderful you've already started talking to your oldest child! This "tiny" link to a blog post, "It's Never Too Early To Start Talking to Children," provides additional resources and help for talking early and often with children about substance misuse: http://tiny.cc/5yv2q.
8.
Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen
Thanks, Cathy. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened, as it helped us realize there was a problem and immediate action was necessary.
9.
Timothy Shoemaker
Timothy Shoemaker
Very well done Lisa. Good points all.
10.
Cathy | Treatment Talk
Cathy | Treatment Talk
Good post, LIsa. I think it's important to take quick action, and be pro-active.
11.
Heather
Heather
I am dealing with something like this at the moment with one of my girls. I didn't freak out, but I did let her know that I was disappointed and what she did was very wrong. She won't be hanging out with friends for the first month of summer, and during that time she will be writing a research paper on the dangers of teens and alcohol. Hopefully that will get her thinking about why it is against the law for teens to drink alcohol.
12.
Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen
Thanks for the comment, Heather. Something else that may help your daughter is to understand the science of the brain's development which helps explain why early use can be so detrimental... here's a link to a post I've done in that area: http://www.breakingthecycles.com/blog/2009/05/28/how-teens-can-become-alcoholics-before-age-21/
13.
Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen
Thanks, Timothy. I'm happy to report that the V-P at her high school - the woman who handled her suspension and follow-up - was remarkable and did a great deal to help my daughter move through and beyond what had happened. In the end, it all worked out for the best, but at the time, I was a wreck!
14.
Zachary Meiu
Zachary Meiu
Great post! This is really one of the things I am fearing the most with my kids. My wife and I have 3 boys (10,6, and 2). We have started talking with our oldest about drinking and other substance abuse issues to educate him on situations he'll face in the near future.
Thanks for the tips!
Zachary -
15.
Johnny
Johnny
Why is alcohol such a taboo thing? Its not going to kill anyone IF itsd done responsibly. How can you ratinally explain to a teen that they under no circumstance are allowed to drink, but hey I can because I am an ost teens drink, most parents get up in arms about it, but in the end its just a normal part of growing up.....you will fight about alcohol, tell them not to drink, but then in a couple years they are allowed to? its seems stupid to me to forbid alcohol. You would be better off trying to promote responsible use of alcohol.
16.
Lisa Frederiksen
Lisa Frederiksen
Thanks for your input, Ratchet. It's important to have all kinds of opinions when having these kinds of "discussions."
17.
Davidic Mike
Davidic Mike
am just feeling sorry for u, but bring the good lord next to u
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