ok.. I'm not addicted to anything drugs are stupid they put you in a fake world that ruins your's and everyone elses live...12 and...honesrtly compared to most people's lives mine was amazing, but for others like kids at my school..its hilarious, and terrible...I'm putting this on here because I saw the commercial and I wanted to help somehow or something

So starting from the begining when I was still in Amy's stomach, she was being stupid with drug.s she was already a prostitue before she was pregnant with me. My brother went through some terrible things..not only with amy but my grandma..litterally my whole family was/on drugs..im not saying that no ones young and lookin to have fun but theres a point to where it stops, and you stop. and you get HELP. back to the story now..i um..dont have the prettiest memories of when i was 3 or 4 but...I push them away.......So Amy keeps cheating on my dad for money for her crack,meth,heroine,rocks, and weed. After a year of pain and torture for my father, and us, with her leaving saying she'll be back in a few fucking hours and coming back 5 months later repetedly..she finally decides to leave for good. Becomes the hottest prostitute on the streets or the neighborhood I called my home..basically..So, with none of my family telling us where she is, half because no one knew where she was..She started showing up in the newspaper, I was a good reader and a smart kid..I knew what the big words meant, I was 5 and I knew what sex was, the only in my class to know (hahaha)? But I kept seeing my mom in the papers years after..and knowing I had a mom out there somewhere for me to love and she isnt beside me at that second broke my little heart..I alwys wanted a mom, the girls in my class would always talk about spending time with their moms and I the easiest way for me to explain why I didnt was because she was in jail..which was halfway a lie and true because amy was in and out of it....My dad was a biggg drinker. I used to think it was because of everything amy ever did to him but I never knew he really had a problem. Almost everynight he would be out until 1:00, 12:00, 4:00...and me and my brother at home sitting on the couch, nothing to eat. Luckily my Grandma, the best hearted person I know, the strongest, the one who put up with all my grampa's bull back in the day always loved and cared for us forever and will never stop even when shes in a coffin in the dirt...she took us on the weekends so my dad could bringmultiple ladies home istead of just one..hehehe...he was into redheads. (HA) well anyways i know thi is long and probably kind of confusing..when i was ten years old I ran out of hope and for ever having a mom and giving up on life. I'm just that person that needs 20 hugs a day...without a mother and a broke father was..shitty..well..I started experimenting with drugs ciggaretttes alcohol and i snuck out all the time (while i was only ten!!! jeez i was stupid!!!!!) and being quite the pyro. i still am and probably always will be. I did other stuff too but...yea.. and..started using my knives in ways i shouldn't..I dont have a reason where anyone will believe me but I started cutting myself because i was depressed or whatever, i look back now and im? soooo retarted for doing it..but i was hurting, and i felt unloved (soo stereotypical) and...one morning my dad walked in my room and i forgot to put my bracelets on the night before andd...well he basically got really pissed cussed me out and stormed out of my room and slammed the front door, and went? to his truck to go to work..my dad always loved me but i never felt loved so thats what the problem was..well basically around the same time when i was ten..amy decided to magically appear in my life and love me..."who the hell are you? what the hell are you doing here? dont kiss me! I know where that mouth's been!!" Yea..I know parents who mess up just wanna love us but it doesnt work like that. no matter what, im sorry. It takes alot of forgiving to love again, or at all ever. amy? she loves me, she does her best, I give her points but shes not my mother. I do not and will not ever love her and shes lucky if i attend her funeral. why am i so harsh? she didnt just hurt us three, she hurt all of my family..not really her half because they were gettin high too! so she has visitation rights and i dont even wanna see her, whatsoever, never. some say 'everyone deserves a second chance' she had 9 years. to just, walk in somewhere and say something. if she loved us as much as she says, she would have done something sooner, when she still had a chance for love. this goes for all of you, get help before its too late. just do it. get out of youy fantasy, get yo happy ass up off this computer from readin my long ole' story and get help. please. just..please...for everyone around you. dont be selfish. i guess thanks for reading? maybe? sorry for taking your time..i just wanted to get something out here.........bye oh and... cutting is stupid, so is any kind of self harm INCLUDING DRUGS is stupid, i did it, if u do it......i know.....if not...hip hip hooray