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Don't give up!

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Don't give up!

Hello ! I am hoping that this may help someone:)

I grew up in a loving but very troubed family which if that contributed to my drug and alcohol problem?it matters little, I love and forgive them , they are humans just like me who struggle with this crazy life? and make mistakes just as i have. It took me a very long time to get over an addiciton of?the destructive type?After listening to doctors and other professionals?saying people with?additive type personalities? are born with it it does make??a lot?of sense but it did not mean I needed to go on being addicted to a harmful substance.? Usually when?I was under the influence of either drugs or alcohol?my behavior was terrible ! I hurt myself or others by my words and often times actions.It was a vicious cycle! My behaviors while under the influence deepend my self? hatred and quilt from what I did to others.

Somehow God worked a miracle! I had some pot laced with angel dust and we smoked a whole lot of it , we did not know it was laced.I know God was watching over me for this is very dangerous stuff which can lead to death, coma or brain damage. Well anyway after smoking all of that I could not longer smoke anytype of pot because I felt like I jsut could not breathe! So i gave it up after many tries I just could not deal with that breathless feeling. I turned to my next best friend -Alcohol- I took some forced? breaks from it due to finances living arrangements and other things but I was not a happy person I did not have my fix.After my life circumstances changed I went straight bck to the booze and in full force. i was a"functioning alcoholic " I worked but everynite I would come home to a nice cold smirnoff?! which ended up being a 6 pack or more.

Then another miracle happened ! I got heartburn like crazy! I could not sleep on my back had to sit in the recliner and another thing- black stool which means bleeding somewhere in the digestive system. So after about a week of this I went to the doc and she checekd my heart gave me some reflux med and said CHANGE MY DIET which one thing was NO ALCOHOL! No smoking cigarettes?, which I had been doing since I was 12 . I was 36 I believe by now. Well it scared me so I stopped the alcohol? but was mean and miserable with no fix. Still smoked cigarettes now and again. Life was a blurr , I went through 2nd divorece, got remarried very quickly after that trying to fill the void of the lost addiciton. Oh my very hard times-?I had nothing to comfort my mind , no drugs or booze , I felt really crazy. So many things happend after that my son left and he had been using drugs . He has his own story I hope he will share someday.I was so weary ready just to give up!

Then another miracle happened- a job opened up for a private duty care giver for overnites with a woman.This worked well for family situation at the time.Then another person needed help and another! My new addicion had just began to unfold!!?Helping People!?Although I believe it was my gift-? my God given talent ! It filled?the drug /alcohol addiction?. Amazing ! I thank God? ! And slowy?after that I have put my trust in God I mean fully ! Oh I have my moments and forget about trusting Him ! Once in awhile I have the urge to go back to my old addicitons? but? as time goes by it gets less and less and the more I put my trust in God and his Son the more at peace I am. Trials come but each time I learn to put my trust in God. He is the true filler of addition and was working with me and my life the whole time!

Oh yes I do so wish I had done things so differently ,?I could have gone around saying"oh woe is me" which I did a lot-but I realize that each trial and all the wrong I grew , I grew in LOVE! learning to love?, learning to forgive myself others-taking each and every bad situation and?using it to grow in the loveof God and ?people:)

Dont give up God has a Miracle for us all!! Listen to HIm calling you! the drugs , alcohol or whatever you are using to fill you up will leave you empty ,Open you eyes and hears-? try saying to yourself what else can fill that addiciton void that will lead to a positive thing? God will Lead the Way:)

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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