I wish I had gotten this when I first began. I was 28 yrsold when I had my first pancreatic attack and was told by the doctors that if I didn't stop drinking I wouldn't make it to 30. I entered my first of many detoxs and rehabs a few weeks later. I thought i was different because I wasn't mandated and I was doing this on my own; a sober house, mtgs, outpatient, all?those were for junkies.? After developing chronic pancreatitis, seizures, and a DWI I was forced (mandated)?into a long term program that I eventually was grateful for. However it wasn't enough! I had to go back out and do some more damage. I ended up incarcerated for that same DWI because I violated my probation?by going to too many rehabs. Even that wasn't enough.? I continued to hang out with the same people and nothing got better. I got into an abusive relationship, lost my familys trust and soon semi?woke up in the hospital once again. I had drank myself into a coma. I was sent to yet another rehab where i decided that maybe a sober house in a different town might help. I was doing? well until I decided it would be okay to visit my old friends. I didn't even make it out to them and I was found in the middle of the road unconscious. I woke up in the hospital once again not knowing what happened. For two months I was in and out of pysch wards for attempting suicide and in and out of regular hospitals because i am on the last stages of alcoholism and my body rejects it.?I no longer have any sort of tolerance, after the first sip I am unconscious and waking up in the hospital.??I finally surrendered and gave all my life to the hands of my higher power. I am sober 14 months and am thinking about getting my casac so that I can help those who are still sick and suffering like the wonderful counselors did for me. I am in the program and I?treat mtgs as if it were my medicine and I take it everyday. I also have a sponsor and home group, for I cannot do this alone.?Everytime I went out I achieved another yet, I haven't yet heard anybody who has gone back out say yah it was great out there. For me it got worse and got worse quicker each time I went out.?If one person gets anything out of this shortened version of my story I know I have worked my program today.