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A stubborn fool

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A stubborn fool

I wish I had gotten this when I first began. I was 28 yrsold when I had my first pancreatic attack and was told by the doctors that if I didn't stop drinking I wouldn't make it to 30. I entered my first of many detoxs and rehabs a few weeks later. I thought i was different because I wasn't mandated and I was doing this on my own; a sober house, mtgs, outpatient, all?those were for junkies.? After developing chronic pancreatitis, seizures, and a DWI I was forced (mandated)?into a long term program that I eventually was grateful for. However it wasn't enough! I had to go back out and do some more damage. I ended up incarcerated for that same DWI because I violated my probation?by going to too many rehabs. Even that wasn't enough.? I continued to hang out with the same people and nothing got better. I got into an abusive relationship, lost my familys trust and soon semi?woke up in the hospital once again. I had drank myself into a coma. I was sent to yet another rehab where i decided that maybe a sober house in a different town might help. I was doing? well until I decided it would be okay to visit my old friends. I didn't even make it out to them and I was found in the middle of the road unconscious. I woke up in the hospital once again not knowing what happened. For two months I was in and out of pysch wards for attempting suicide and in and out of regular hospitals because i am on the last stages of alcoholism and my body rejects it.?I no longer have any sort of tolerance, after the first sip I am unconscious and waking up in the hospital.??I finally surrendered and gave all my life to the hands of my higher power. I am sober 14 months and am thinking about getting my casac so that I can help those who are still sick and suffering like the wonderful counselors did for me. I am in the program and I?treat mtgs as if it were my medicine and I take it everyday. I also have a sponsor and home group, for I cannot do this alone.?Everytime I went out I achieved another yet, I haven't yet heard anybody who has gone back out say yah it was great out there. For me it got worse and got worse quicker each time I went out.?If one person gets anything out of this shortened version of my story I know I have worked my program today.


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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