I love cocaine. I love the feel of the needle in my arm and the rush as the clean, ether based drug numbs my toungue first,then my lips and the shivers I would get when I removed the point from my arm.

What sucked was finding myself locked in a bathroom stall in a public place or on a airplane or driving down the road at night, doing 60 mph and steering with my knee trying to hit a vein. Constantly peeking through the blinds, for what, I still have no idea. The only time I would stop is when I was completely out of money, and out of dope and I couldn't reach the dealer. Constantly being broke or having to deal so I could get my fix. Nothing was more important that the rush. I knew a lady, who also enjoyed cocaine, off the mirror, but when I pulled out the old "kit", she was appalled. I felt bad enough after that day that I quit on February 10, 1998. I tried it once since, on a Halloween 2001 and found myself with the same regrets and situation. I thought I could do "just a little", but such was not the case.

Here's the thing. . . if you find yourself addicted to something, I mean something that once you start it takes over any sense of discipline and respect for yourself and those around you, don't frigging do it! Just walk away! I've been around coke since, even been offered coke, but I know I can't control myself so I just don't do it. Simple as that.

You'll be a better person.