I'm 44 years of age now. Growing up I was around a father working and drinking. Mother that did her best. Not feeling like I fit in. Wanted every one to like me. In high school started smoking weed and a little drinking here and their. When I was 18 yrs old and with a buddy at his uncles house were drinking having fun. Can't remember but some one ask me if I wanted to try one of these lines. Sure what could it hurt I thought to myself. I was snorting my first line of cocaine. Life felt better than I have ever felt before. In a short period of time I was drinking more and up too snorting 1/2 ounces a week. Before I knew it I was fired from 6-7 jobs. Or just not going into work. 2-3 rehabs,wife left, pretty much living house to house. Drinking up to 1/2 gallon a day so I could even function. Family begging me to get straight,friends telling me the same. Nothing mattered. Only thing that mattered was how am I going to get high and drunk today. Along this road to Hell I had a daughter wondering when dad was ever come and see her and a baby boy that think God has the best mother in the world. On march 4, 2004 I woke up hung over as usual. Something was different ,that day I took a look at myself, ask myself what do you want. My answer was I want my kids back, I want my wife back, I want my family back. I didn't want to die. If I kept on I might of lasted a couple more years at best. See I had all these people that loved me but in my addiction I was so lonely and hated myself to thoughts of suicide. My thing is you really have to do it for yourself. Today I have my daughter in collage, my son is in 6 grade and my wife of our kids together as a family. Is it perfect, Hell no. But its easier to work hard for something that you get so much BACK. Sorry about spelling and grammer. I'm not the smartest person when it comes to that. But I fill pretty damn smart how my life turned out. Thanks for your time as I have never gave my story to anyone like this before. Remember your the one you have to face each and every day.