Me, Myself and Mine
I am a mother of two beautiful daughters. I have been blessed to have them in my life.?My oldest is a nurse at a children's hospital. She gives chemotherapy to children of all ages. She is the mother of my?three wonderful grandsons. My youngest daughter was beautiful, intelligent, talented and a honoroll cheerleader. However, she was murdered at the age of 15?by a physcopath who raped and beat her to death. This was several years ago.?I literally lost my mind.
My girls were my life and, unfortunately, although I had another daughter I could not seem to come to grips that my life was not over.?I did not want to live, I could no longer work, eat, sleep let alone try to ever be happy again. All I could do is cry.
Then after all the depression meds the doctors put me on, somehow I ventured into heroin, the worst drug of them all as my family?doctor?said. But it helped not to hurt, not to cry, not to care about my baby's tragic death.?It not only stopped ?the pain in my heart, it stop everything in my life: my oldest daughter's love, my mother and father's respect, my belief in God, not to mention myself.?I forgot who and what I was.?I could care less. This evil drug was all that mattered.
I have several horror stories I could tell.?But what I need to say is I am so fortunate to even be alive. I overdosed 3 times, was almost pisteled whipped to death, I have been on methadone, active in the 12-step programs and rehab many times in ten years and still could not quit.?And I was nowhere closer to ending my emotional pain.?I realized if I wanted to live a normal satisfying life for the rest of ?my life then I had to learn to accept I was an addict for?life.
I took all I had learned and went to rehab for no less than 6 months. By then I was broke, homeless, skinny and physically ill. Afterward I returned home to my father's home, my mother had died, my daughter had three boys and I was finally drug free.
It has been along road to where I am today. And now 20 years later, I have my oldest daughter's love, my father's respect, my love for God and even though I don't have my baby girl here with me I do have her safe in my heart where she can never be hurt again...
Please, dear people, I know where you are, where you have been and where you are going and so do it today, it can be done. I thank the Lord and the people in my life who helped me get where I am at today. That is peace in my heart and happiness in my soul that?I haven't had since the birth of my first baby girl.?May you all be strong and truly well....believe in yourself it's worth it and so are you!
This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.