My Journey
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My Journey
Hello, my name is Jessica. I am now 26 years old. Starting from the beginning, growing up i had/have the best life anyone could possibly ask for. I am an only child and live with my Mom. She is and always will be my best friend. Even though we fight sometimes like any normal family it always bottles down to us always being there for one another.
Ive always been a social butterfly and always had lots of friends and was always the fun one in the crowd. When i was 19 i started going out with on the weekends with some friends to clubs and bars with a fake id. Everyone has done it in their teens so i didnt think anything wrong with it thought it was fun.
Started drinking on the weekends, smoked my first cigarette at the age of 17, smoked my first hit of weed at the age of 19. Took my first 'real drug' at the age of 21. It was a vicodin. I was at my friends house hanging out drinking and decided to take one cause he had them. From just taking that one pill that night led to me going out w him every single day to get them. Then i was dating someone at the age of 21. She started taking her grandmas pills without her knowing and then we found ourselves going to brooklyn every two weeks to pick up 100 perc 10s. I didnt think nething wrong with it at all. I was just having fun and living my life.
I dropped weight people noticed, never came home always slept out.Had some encounters with people that ended up not so great but ones that made me stronger today. In 2010 i started taking 'blues'. Worked as a waitress.and thoight it was.great cause it gave me lots of energy. I was spendin 100 a day on them did that for two years. Along the way i didnt even realize i was an adict and didnt realize how badly i was hurting my mom. I lost jobs over it, goodhearted friends, money, and time and years that i could never get back. I not once thought about my future cause i thought to myself ' oh i have time for that, im young'.
When i was 24 i reached out to my moms friends daughter who said she was in a program called NA. At first i tried it out didnt like it very much. Then i met someone there and we instantly clicked. We became best friends. We did everything together. I thought to myself, yes, i finally have a great best friend. We started going to bars together and drinking. It started out we went on the weekends, then the weekends became wednesday thuesday friday saturday and sunday. Her parents had an intervention together and we both decided it was a bad choice to continue going out to bars so we stopped. Throughout our friendship there has been some struggles but we were always there for one another and never left one anothers side. I started using drugs again and i could tell i was hurting her. I felt horrible.
On March 20th 2012 i overdosed and went away to a physcward and then to rehab. I was away for a month and half and that was the best decision i could have ever made. My mom supported me one hundred percent and so did my sponsor and my best friend. I have been clean since march 28th 2012 which was the last day that i was methadone in the physc ward.
When i came out of rehab it felt like a holiday to me. It was the best feeling ever to hug my mom and hug my best friend. A week into me being home my mom and i had an argument and decided to move in with my best friend and her mom and her brother. Little did i know it was the medication i got put on in the physc ward for the reasoning my mom and i had fought. I lived with my best friend for 3 weeks. During the timenof me living with her she relapsed and decided to go away to rehab in florida. I missed her so much when she went away. I was still living at her houae while she was away but then decided to go home to my house because it became unhealthy there. The resultof that, my best friend and i are no longer friends. I am glad shes doing great in florida and all i wanted was for her to be happy.
My whole story bottles down to have sttength and the courage to live a good nd healthy life. Through all the hurtles you go through it boils down to how they taught you how to live and to always move forward. I will have a year clean on march 28th and i am beyond proud of myself. I met some wonderful people in my life who have helped me get to where i am today but if it wasnt for me realizing the importance of my life and realizing i only have one life to live so let me make the best of it. I am never looking back only looking back to what my past life has taught me. I dont have any regrets in my life because at that point in time its exactly what you chose to do.
As ofnow, my mom and i are back to the way were supposed to be im going back to school and enjoying the tiny little joys in life. Instead of waking up every day and thinking to myself ' how am i going to get my next fix', i now wake up.and think to myself ' life is beautiful, so lets live and enjoy it'.
Ive always been a social butterfly and always had lots of friends and was always the fun one in the crowd. When i was 19 i started going out with on the weekends with some friends to clubs and bars with a fake id. Everyone has done it in their teens so i didnt think anything wrong with it thought it was fun.
Started drinking on the weekends, smoked my first cigarette at the age of 17, smoked my first hit of weed at the age of 19. Took my first 'real drug' at the age of 21. It was a vicodin. I was at my friends house hanging out drinking and decided to take one cause he had them. From just taking that one pill that night led to me going out w him every single day to get them. Then i was dating someone at the age of 21. She started taking her grandmas pills without her knowing and then we found ourselves going to brooklyn every two weeks to pick up 100 perc 10s. I didnt think nething wrong with it at all. I was just having fun and living my life.
I dropped weight people noticed, never came home always slept out.Had some encounters with people that ended up not so great but ones that made me stronger today. In 2010 i started taking 'blues'. Worked as a waitress.and thoight it was.great cause it gave me lots of energy. I was spendin 100 a day on them did that for two years. Along the way i didnt even realize i was an adict and didnt realize how badly i was hurting my mom. I lost jobs over it, goodhearted friends, money, and time and years that i could never get back. I not once thought about my future cause i thought to myself ' oh i have time for that, im young'.
When i was 24 i reached out to my moms friends daughter who said she was in a program called NA. At first i tried it out didnt like it very much. Then i met someone there and we instantly clicked. We became best friends. We did everything together. I thought to myself, yes, i finally have a great best friend. We started going to bars together and drinking. It started out we went on the weekends, then the weekends became wednesday thuesday friday saturday and sunday. Her parents had an intervention together and we both decided it was a bad choice to continue going out to bars so we stopped. Throughout our friendship there has been some struggles but we were always there for one another and never left one anothers side. I started using drugs again and i could tell i was hurting her. I felt horrible.
On March 20th 2012 i overdosed and went away to a physcward and then to rehab. I was away for a month and half and that was the best decision i could have ever made. My mom supported me one hundred percent and so did my sponsor and my best friend. I have been clean since march 28th 2012 which was the last day that i was methadone in the physc ward.
When i came out of rehab it felt like a holiday to me. It was the best feeling ever to hug my mom and hug my best friend. A week into me being home my mom and i had an argument and decided to move in with my best friend and her mom and her brother. Little did i know it was the medication i got put on in the physc ward for the reasoning my mom and i had fought. I lived with my best friend for 3 weeks. During the timenof me living with her she relapsed and decided to go away to rehab in florida. I missed her so much when she went away. I was still living at her houae while she was away but then decided to go home to my house because it became unhealthy there. The resultof that, my best friend and i are no longer friends. I am glad shes doing great in florida and all i wanted was for her to be happy.
My whole story bottles down to have sttength and the courage to live a good nd healthy life. Through all the hurtles you go through it boils down to how they taught you how to live and to always move forward. I will have a year clean on march 28th and i am beyond proud of myself. I met some wonderful people in my life who have helped me get to where i am today but if it wasnt for me realizing the importance of my life and realizing i only have one life to live so let me make the best of it. I am never looking back only looking back to what my past life has taught me. I dont have any regrets in my life because at that point in time its exactly what you chose to do.
As ofnow, my mom and i are back to the way were supposed to be im going back to school and enjoying the tiny little joys in life. Instead of waking up every day and thinking to myself ' how am i going to get my next fix', i now wake up.and think to myself ' life is beautiful, so lets live and enjoy it'.
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