I am now 29 years old and I have been in the past 2 years sober until again since December 2012. I have been on uppers since the age of 5 starting with a high dosage of ritalin. I learned at the age of 10 to overdose and snort my pills, giving the drs no choice but to put me on time release doses. Little did they know all I had to do was scrape the candy hire coating off to continue putting it up my nose. At the age of 19 I went off it searching for a better life only to hit depression chased by a traumatic death by my father. He died of cancer exactly 4 fucking months to the day of his diagnosian suffering from post traumatic syndrome I found coke and Meth, called speedballing. For almost 8 years straight I have accumulated 27 charges lied, stole and sold drugs.It is the worst feeling to need and want something just ti be able to function. Constant fatigue and depression caused by drugs keeps you sucked in feenining for more and more. I just want you to know "I feel you ". Do not give up. You know your goal and vision. First and fore most do not give up on your trust in God. He may do things we will never understand why or spend our lives trying to figure out. We will never know. He does know what he is doing even though it doesn't seem like it. Years down the road it may make sense. We all have a purpose and a reason. We may never know, but don give up.we all go through things because it was meant to be. Maybe to help that next person you run into to get through he same thing we went through yet battled and accomplished. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will understand. Until then my friend I long for thebdy you beat this.