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I blame my dad

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I blame my dad

I feel like I blame my dad for everything thats wrong with me.. he's always been the loud and abusive type. I'm 19 now but it all began when I was about 12. My dad always put me down and made me feel worthless. If I said the wrong things or proved him wrong about arguements we had he would go crazy because he alwsys had to be right and everything had to go his way. At 12 I didn't know exactly what I was doing but I remember being soo frustrated and would want to escape somehow. I started popping any kind of pills I'd find around the house and got in the habit of it almost daily. I believe I was close to overdosing when one night I took 20 pills and fell asleep but when I woke up everything looked like it was melting and not real. I don't remember what happend after that but I woke up the next day feeling sort of scared and after that day I stopped. When I was 14 I smoked weed every day, popped exstacy, mdma, and had tried ketamine. 16 I tried meth and started popping prescription pills again. I just turned 19 not that long ago and in the past year soo much has gone bad in my family involving my dad. I get the urge to want to try different things just to escape. I haven't felt really happy in a long time. My mom doesnt understand me and I'm afraid of what my family would think of me if they knew all this about me. I think the fear of having them knowing is what keeps me sober. I wouldn't doubt if I just snapped and stoped caring, I would go back to everything I used to do.

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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