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Even if nothing's okay, I can still be okay

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Even if nothing's okay, I can still be okay

Hey guys i'm Meredith and im 18 years old. I have been clean off heroin for 5 months now.

I started smoking weed and drinking when i was 13, and even at that time in my life, i knew i was different. i knew i loved drugs more than any of my other friends. Weed & alcohol helped me be less shy in social situations since i always felt like the "ugly friend", and i had no limits. I would do what ever it would take to get weed.

Towards the beginning of sophomore year of high school i started using pills much more, mostly amphetamines and opiates. I was miserable, i wanted to die everyday and i self-injured a lot. I dealt with the problem of my sexuality when i dated my first girl in junior year, but nothing meant more to me than drugs. Things got bad , quick, i started getting kicked out of schools and going to adolescent rehabs and mental hospitals, all because of drugs.

I started heroin when i was 17 and it robbed me of everything good in life. i stole my parents credit cards and cash from their wallets. I didnt care, i just needed my fix. After a year of using heroin and going in and out of rehabs, i had eventually got so weak that i surrendered, THE CONSEQUENCES OF DRUG ADDICITION OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS. I got myself into a 12 step program and went to rehab for a month.

Today i see that i can feel so sad, so tired, and so worn out, but i STILL DON'T HAVE TO USE. everything will be okay, and im no longer carrying around guilt for how i act. I do get urges, but they always pass. its not worth it anymore, and i hope you see that too

and remember: "This too shall pass..."

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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